28
Nov
2010
In which I give you a warning and make an announcement
Sometimes I blame my husband – he said his next wife would do it if I wouldn’t – but mostly I blame my daughter.
There is a point at about nine months when your child, if lucky, is sleeping, eating, crawling, happy and content. Easy to get around, they sit happily in a pram for ages at a time, allowing you to shop, have coffees, shop… so you decide this parenting thing is a lark, may as well have another one.
And so you get pregnant.
And then she wakes up and you discover it was all part of an evil plan to lull you into a false sense of security and propagate the human race.
See, angelic daughter has decided she hates the pram. And the car. Not a huge fan of her cot either while we’re at it. And as for crawling round gently prodding her toys – she’d rather rip wine bottles out of the wine rack, pull appliances off the bench using the 1cm of cord you left dangling, launch herself out of her high chair, scale the stairs at 60kms an hour whenever your back is turned, and my personal favourite of which I never tire – empty out every drawer and cupboard she can lay her hands on. Especially neatly organised Christmas wrapping drawer, ensuring every single roll of ribbon is festively strewn around the living room and red tissue paper is poking suspiciously out of her mouth.
17
Nov
2010
Highlights of my pregnancy
Defintely at the waddling stage CC photo credit: Tim Green aka atoach
With only five weeks to go, its time to reflect on the highs and lows of nine months of carrying a large bump around my front. Here are some of my more memorable (and mentionable);
First trimester: The usual blissful sameness of the first four weeks was followed by two months of awesome nausea and misery. Have been tiptop every since the end of the third month though so, thumbs up to the body for a sterling job.
Maternity Shopping Online: I had hoped shopping online would be a highlight but I didn’t do all that well with only the following completed purchases:
- Black and white waist bands (to extend life of ordinary tops – genius idea in theory, in my case not so effective in practice). From six months the gap between my trousers and my non-maternity tops has been a breezy few inches more than the width of the bands. Never very effective before that anyway, often finding their way to well below where they should be, resulting in a kind of arse sling, or, in the other direction, ending up under my armpits, I’m hoping they may instead come in handy as miniskirts once I have recovered my pre-pregnancy, pre-pregnancy (still hadn’t recovered from the one before) body. Because white lycra mini-skirts should be a wardrobe staple for any mother of two in her late thirties.
7
Oct
2010
Pregnancy Second Time Around
Hmmm..Coffee. I'm ALLOWED One a Day. OK?!
I don’t want to play the “old hand” walk-in-the-park routine on pregnancy, so don’t take my tone as smug, but I have noticed a remarkable reduction in my attention to actually being pregnant this time around, my second pregnancy. This new attitude is a bit of a mystery to me, even after a full two minutes of self-reflection.
I speak only of the last three months because the first trimester was HIDEOUS and that certainly got my attention. It was characterised by daily vomiting or, if not vomiting, a routine of sitting on my arse or shuffling around (on my feet, not my arse) to try and minimise the movement that might result in vomiting. I did bring it on myself somewhat – refusing to take those anti-nausea tablets which didn’t seem to do much in the first pregnancy when I had only minor nausea but which, I discovered on the second last day of feeling like a first time sailor on the high seas during this pregnancy, that they actually helped quite a bit. So I purchased a 30-euro packet of the little miracles and then found two days later that all my illnesses had passed with the end of the first trimester. Murphy’s.
3
Oct
2010
Mind the Bump – why you MUST avoid overalls in pregnancy and other essential maternity clothes tips
THE STORY OF THE POST
you need some maternity clothes. Seriously, a leaf is not going to cut it.
This is a long post with zero interest to anyone bar the newly pregnant. But I enjoy shopping, and embrace every new opportunity to shop, so my two pregnancies gave me a WHOLE new genre to investigate. The joy. So it’s long. But I figure if you’re first time pregnant you’ll be interested. And if you’re not, you won’t read any of it, so I can whittle on for pages without shame and if you’re really just interested in looking at things for yourself without my helpful hints (rude), skip to the bottom for a list of good maternity clothes stockists.
Top Tip which I give you after several years and a couple of dollars spent – bear this in mind: you won’t need true maternity clothes until at least four or five months in. Possibly later depending on whether you are one of those annoying people who wears their own jeans until about 8 months in. Possibly a bit earlier if you are onto your third child and carrying a 10lb heifer in your stomach. Either way, although I fully appreciate the desire to embrace this whole new category, it is NOT for a whole nine month period, you do NOT need an entire new wardrobe. That being said though, you wouldn’t want to ignore all the lovely possibilities out there…..
27
Sep
2010
What to expect when you’re expecting. Or rather – what to do when you’re expecting. Except that doesn’t sound nearly as catchy.
Which may well be why the authors of What to Expect are undoubtedly gazillionaires and I am writing a pink blog.
I have a couple of friends recently who have announced their first pregnancies. Naturally they have turned to someone as wise and insightful as me to advise
them as they take their first tentative steps into the world of bulging stomachs and weeing incessentaly. Or rather, one of them said ‘you must have a nerdy spreadsheet for this sort of thing.’ Au contraire my tubby little friend – I don’t have a single spreadsheet, I have several. And lots of posts. But I guess I have never summarised it all into a neat little package of a posty thing – so here it is, my guide to WHAT THE HELL DO I DO NOW? Apart from all the medical/hospitaly/birthy stuff of course…
- Panic. You are bringing a new person into the world. Much can go wrong and you’re probably already well on the way to f*cking up your kid’s life already. Nice one. Oh, ok, disregard that one – here’s the real list….
20
Jun
2010
Recovering from the ‘other kind’ of birth
It does not take this many openings - I swear.
I am a small-time c-section veteran, having got two babies up and out ‘through the sun roof’. Not on my own you understand – there were a few doctors and nurses, but basically I am tough and brave. As an obsessive planner, the second time round when I knew I was having another one, I did some serious research. I also bought a lot of unnecessary gear and freaked out a lot. Even if you’re planning the most natural of natural births, stuff happens sometimes and it always pays to freak out in advance. Oh wait – is that right? Anyway, based on absolutely no medical experience whatsoever (although I have watched a LOT of Gray’s Anatomy which is pretty much the same thing), here are my personal top tips for recovering from a c-section:
3
May
2010
By popular demand – THE BABY LIST. Essentials and almost essentials to buy.
This is like a picture of me at the dentist. I know - bad hair day.
Ages ago I wrote a post about baby things I had bought that I had wasted money on. I made a rash promise to post my spreadsheet of things that you SHOULD buy. Four months later I am coming good with my promise. I know. I’m reliable like that. You should hear my promises to my dentist – they are nothing short of inspiring and involve trips to hygienists, dental floss and 45 degree brushing angles.
Anyway, I digress. I know that interesting dentistry anecdotes is a post in itself but baby stuff I promised and baby stuff you shall have. There are many many things to buy when you are having a baby. And many many shops and online stores from which to buy these essentials. I say essentials. In actual fact, apart from a cot, a pram and some clothes, you’d be hard pressed to say anything was truly essential. But we are what we are. Well, actually, I am what I am. You may well be a far more worthy and green type person who buys the minimum, recycles stuff, freecycles it back into the community and is generally a better, kinder and more annoying person than me. If you are, can I suggest you stop reading? I think you will not enjoy my list of essentials.
26
Mar
2010
When good yoga goes bad
very close likeness of my yoga teacher. possibly her sister.
UPDATE: I know this is an old one but Jac is on holiday this week so I’m re-posting one of my favourites that she wrote! Cheers, Kate
If you’re not already a Yoga or Pilates devotee, there is a very good chance that on falling pregnant you’ll be encouraged to start attending a Yoga or Pilates class especially for the impregnated. Finding the right class for you can be pretty challenging and let me just say, possibly, as my recent experience demonstrated, a little bit frightening.
Finding a new yoga teacher in Madrid has not been an easy task. After sifting through several tie die themed yoga websites and brochures, I found a fairly modern looking studio and booked in for my first set of classes. Despite the shiny, new exterior of the yoga studio, the teacher turned out to be the kind of crystal, purple cardigan wearing, yoga stereotype I had been trying to avoid. The classes were just not what I was after. I wanted to work out, and this class was a lot closer to mediation than exercise.
22
Dec
2009
The dad’s role in pregnancy.
a pathetic attempt to appeal to the males
I wrote a whole post about Christmas traditions. Then the Captain told me he was over Christmas. And my traditions. Hmm, thought maybe the rest of the world was too (yes, I am aware that not EVERYONE in the world is reading our blog – more fool them) and I am all about pleasing the readers. One of his friends had some helpful suggestions about how I could improve the male readership of this blog. The key one was introducing sports coverage – specifically, blow by blow accounts of any event where England is playing Australia. Probably not going to happen today, but you’ll know when I start cutting and pasting the BBC sports coverage that things have got dire.
In the meantime – how about some thoughts on the male role in pregnancy? There are any number of books on the topic and hundreds of articles written every year. Most of them focus on loving support. It’s true, loving supportiveness is good, but there are some more specific steps you can take to ensure you remain the father of your unborn child. So here are Kate’s top tips on how you can be the best pregnancy person ever:
20
Dec
2009
Things I have wasted money on
If you ask my husband — most of my wardrobe, half the bathroom cabinet, all of my top drawer, the spice cupboard, the bottom three shelves of the bookshelf and everything in my half of the CD rack — falls into this category. But for the purposes of this post I will keep it to Items I Have Bought for Children or Childbearing Purposes. Also known as Things Kate’s Friends Should Have Told Her.
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