25
Aug
2010
At what point will people laugh at me in the streets? The wearing of leather trousers.
baaaaaaaaaa
So I had a long post written this evening all about the hell of school holidays. (I may still post it, it’s mildly diverting awesome, so look out for it. Witty and insightful.) Then I was going to write about the political stalemate in Australia. (Not really, although obviously I have been contacted a lot with my political pundit background). But then I decided that I need to be true to myself. What do they always say – write about what you know? So I’m writing about a big issue that has been plaguing me all week. Leather trousers. I know – you thought we were covering the big issues before, what with soccer kisses and Ikea, but we have got even MORE highbrow.
Specifically, can a mother in her mid-30s (at what point do your mid thirties become your late thirties? I think 39 personally) get away with leather trousers? Even more specifically:
- In what area of her life will she be wearing them? Will she ever actually put them on or will they be assigned to what her husband refers to as the ‘aspirational’ section of her wardrobe? Alongside the summer garden party frocks (I live in England), the white trousers (I have children) and the 6 inch velvet heels (although how good would these look with the leather trousers? VERY good, that’s how good.)
2
Aug
2010
Why I am an awesome parent – my new parenting philosophy
ideal parenting position
A male friend of mine sent a group email with the MOST fabulous article this week about ‘idle parenting’. It sparked much comment and a whole new language. The opening sentence of the article by my new hero Tom Hodgkinson sums up the whole concept:
Cancel all clubs, ditch the after-school activities and leave those kids alone.
In other brilliant highlights, the article includes gems such as:
a lazy parent is a good parent
A lot can be achieved by lying in bed. Simply by doing nothing, you can train children to do useful things.
My kids are happy because we’re happy.” Do not suffer. Enjoy your life.
I had no idea that I was already subscribing to such a widespread and legitimate* child raising methodology. But I am loving it.
6
Jun
2010
Sophie – baby’s first status symbol? And our very first giveaway.
This is her. Skinny, Parisian and chic.
I don’t know if it has hit other parts of the world yet, but here in Europe if you don’t own Sophie, you may as well stay home – or stay hidden underneath the sun protector in your buggy or other baby anti-humiliation techniques. There is no way you could face life in the sandpit without knowing that you had Sophie waiting for you at home. Yes my friends – it’s not about highchairs or cots or even your designer buggy – if you don’t own Sophie La Giraffe, you are nobody.
Furthermore, if you don’t buy your baby one immediately, you are probably sentencing your child to a lifetime of lunches alone and dodgy denim choices (I have no memories like this to relate to, only ever having been seen wearing cool, up to the minute, always in fashion jeans. Cough denim hotpants cough).
But why? Why this French phenomenon? There are fifty five million different squeezy toys for babies (I counted), what makes Soph different? I’ll hazard a few (dodgy) guesses….
- She is French. Probably Parisian. And female. All Parisian women are skinny, chic, classic and colour coordinated. So is Sophie.
11
May
2010
These are a few of my favourite things….PICTURE BOOKS
My favourite book. Get your hands on it.
Or so the song goes. These are actually a few of my favourite children’s picture books for the under 5s. I know, I know, there are literally thousands of wonderful books, and as clever and efficient as I am, I haven’t quite got through them all. Astounding I realise.
My requirements for being added to this illustrious list include gorgeous illustrations, fun or charming stories (a sense of humour doesn’t go astray) and something that I don’t want to set fire to the fortieth time I read it. And I have to admit a terrible bias towards Australian books here – I don’t know if it’s because some of them reflect my own childhood stories, or their cheekiness just appeals to me, but I have to put it out there.
So to keep you going while I make my way through every single children’s book in the world, here are some of my favourites:
- Wanted: The Perfect Pet – this is probably my favourite book ever. Mainly for the over 2s but good for a few years after that due to the detail, it is very funny, very sweet, very engaging and has lovely line-style drawings. It also provides good scope for me to show off the breadth of my story reading skills. Love it.
3
May
2010
By popular demand – THE BABY LIST. Essentials and almost essentials to buy.
This is like a picture of me at the dentist. I know - bad hair day.
Ages ago I wrote a post about baby things I had bought that I had wasted money on. I made a rash promise to post my spreadsheet of things that you SHOULD buy. Four months later I am coming good with my promise. I know. I’m reliable like that. You should hear my promises to my dentist – they are nothing short of inspiring and involve trips to hygienists, dental floss and 45 degree brushing angles.
Anyway, I digress. I know that interesting dentistry anecdotes is a post in itself but baby stuff I promised and baby stuff you shall have. There are many many things to buy when you are having a baby. And many many shops and online stores from which to buy these essentials. I say essentials. In actual fact, apart from a cot, a pram and some clothes, you’d be hard pressed to say anything was truly essential. But we are what we are. Well, actually, I am what I am. You may well be a far more worthy and green type person who buys the minimum, recycles stuff, freecycles it back into the community and is generally a better, kinder and more annoying person than me. If you are, can I suggest you stop reading? I think you will not enjoy my list of essentials.
3
Mar
2010
Cots – a life behind bars?
So here’s a question for all of you far more experienced people than me – what’s with the ‘big boy bed’ business? Two and a half year old son is still in a cot. I know – HORRIFYING. Many people can’t get over the fact and I am sure they are whispering about poor downtrodden son behind my back.
I have stayed in various different locations over the past few months and the question is always the same – is he in a bed yet? The answer is no, he is not.
So tell me, am I running the risk of a child used to gazing upwards at people forever? Will the bars scar him for life and ensure he is well primed for a life of incarceration? Thus far, he seems perfectly content in his cot, and no signs of him whipping off with the family silver just yet. Then again, if you ask English Captain Sensible, most Aussies return to their convict form at some stage anyway.
4
Feb
2010
Make your own personalised word cloud canvas
I stumbled across website wordle.net a few months ago. Wordle lets you create your own word cloud image. I have been pondering ever since what a great gift it would be to use it to create a unique canvas for your baby’s room, or as a gift for, well, anyone. Or maybe you just want one for your own living room.
You can create your own word cloud image on wordle by entering a list of words and then changing the font, colours and the way the words are arranged. The image is yours to use as you wish, so you can save the file you’ve created and have it printed on canvas. (Google “print on canvas” and you’ll find any number of sites that will print your image on canvas and send it to you. Assuming you don’t live in Tristan da Cunha*).
28
Jan
2010
Child attacked by face eating bear
This is my son. Not, as it may appear to an alarmed parent in the middle of the night, being suffocated by a wild brown animal, but voluntarily, softly rubbing his face up against his FLATOUTbear.
Apparently FLATOUTbears are already pretty well known to many parents, but there may be a few of you still unfamiliar with these teddy bears, or, like me before, were aware but not especially enamored with them — at least not with any more affection than for your average cuddly bear. Now, however, I totally get why flat is good.
You can’t rub a normal bear on your face like that. Nor, most likely, would you want to — the snout and belly and all those other curves would make it not quite as pleasant. There’s nothing wrong with curvy bears, I’m sure they’re good for lots of things, but being plastered against baby’s head, well, that’s where FLATOUTbears really come into their own.
10
Jan
2010
Things I forgot about having a newborn – part two
This is me.
For those of you who didn’t read my earlier brilliant analysis – here is a link. I almost forgot to write a second part. Yes, I do see the irony in that. (Is that actually irony? In amongst the whole Alanis Morisette irony debacle I think I actually forgot the real meaning). Anyhoo, I’m four months in now and still my brain is remembering things that I had forgotten. Call it baby brain, call it Mother Nature’s insidious way of getting you to have another one, call it my memory was never that good to start with. Whatever, here are some more…
1. If you are a freakish nerd trying to get your beloved child into a routine, they are extremely difficult to keep awake for soooooo long. And then suddenly one day you realise you haven’t had to walk them outside all day and they’ve been playing on their mat happily for half an hour without passing out arms up and legs akimbo. It’s about this stage you can start to really get into day time telly. Just don’t get sprung by your husband watching it with a bag of crisps on the couch and the baby on their playmat in the corner. What? No, didn’t happen to me. I hate TV. And crisps. Mmmmmmcrisps.
22
Dec
2009
The dad’s role in pregnancy.
a pathetic attempt to appeal to the males
I wrote a whole post about Christmas traditions. Then the Captain told me he was over Christmas. And my traditions. Hmm, thought maybe the rest of the world was too (yes, I am aware that not EVERYONE in the world is reading our blog – more fool them) and I am all about pleasing the readers. One of his friends had some helpful suggestions about how I could improve the male readership of this blog. The key one was introducing sports coverage – specifically, blow by blow accounts of any event where England is playing Australia. Probably not going to happen today, but you’ll know when I start cutting and pasting the BBC sports coverage that things have got dire.
In the meantime – how about some thoughts on the male role in pregnancy? There are any number of books on the topic and hundreds of articles written every year. Most of them focus on loving support. It’s true, loving supportiveness is good, but there are some more specific steps you can take to ensure you remain the father of your unborn child. So here are Kate’s top tips on how you can be the best pregnancy person ever:
20
Dec
2009
Things I have wasted money on
If you ask my husband — most of my wardrobe, half the bathroom cabinet, all of my top drawer, the spice cupboard, the bottom three shelves of the bookshelf and everything in my half of the CD rack — falls into this category. But for the purposes of this post I will keep it to Items I Have Bought for Children or Childbearing Purposes. Also known as Things Kate’s Friends Should Have Told Her.
15
Nov
2009
Kid-friendly restaurants in London
Ever since I read Jac’s post on the Baby Deli 
in Madrid, I have been thinking about similar locations in London. Now I don’t mean to rub it in Jac, but we are a bit spoilt for choice here in the capital. There are lots of restaurants that are child friendly. That is, places where you can take your kids and they help you out with high chairs, kid’s menus, early eating, etc. There are also nicer places that are great with kids – both of which I have listed below. However I am fundamentally a selfish person who does not like having their meal interrupted by sticky fingers, babies crying and people crawling around my feet. The exception would be yum cha/dim sum which is MADE for children – mess and noise is positively welcomed, chopsticks were designed to be thrown, there are inevitably fish in a tank to look at, and the whole thing is over in an hour.
But some clever people have cottoned on to the fact that I am not the only parent in the world who likes a nice meal, but doesn’t always want to pay for a babysitter. Thus, the brilliant child-minding restaurant has been born. See below for some details. And if you’ve got any in your hometown, let me know and I’ll continue the research into other cities….
14
Oct
2009
Why I am not a multi-millionaire
I only recently discovered what used to be called the Baa Baa Blind and is now called the Gro Anywhere Blind. Brilliant idea – if I had thought of that instead of fiddling around at uni and stuff, I would be multi-millionaire now and enjoying the calming atmosphere of my Philippe Stark accessorised home, instead of the shrine to Ikea I find myself living in. Not that I am bagging Ikea, I LOVE Ikea. I come up with excuses to drive out there at least once a fortnight. Still – if you had told me when I was buying my first Billy when I was 19 that I would still be buying them when I was 30-something (the fight about whether I am in my early or mid 30s will continue until I am in my 40s), I would have laughed scornfully. I can do a good scornful laugh too – ask my family. And if you don’t know what a Billy is, shame on you. Or perhaps good on you for not wasting your time at uni and inventing the Baa Baa Blind. Or the internet or something. I should do a whole post on Ikea. That way I would not waste time when I am supposed to be commenting on the Baa Baa Blind. Anyway. The blind. 
It has annoying little sheep all over it because most people need to be reminded they are in a nursery – the cot, the change table and the mountains of hideous plastic toys not being a dead giveaway – but it does what it is supposed to. Blocks out all the light. And is stuck up with suction caps so you can TAKE IT WITH YOU. Or take it down when your child no longer needs to conform to Gina Ford darkness dictats. And then put it back up when the clocks change and your child is getting up at 5am and if they don’t start sleeping in you will murder them with an axe go a bit crazy. Anyway – great idea. I have bought one for home/travel and a couple for friends. This is where you can buy them from in the UK , and here for Australia, but they seem to sell them lots of places online around the world. Google it on the internet. You probably invented it so you should know how.
6
Aug
2009
Wall Stickers – Decorating the Nursery, Low Maintenance Style
I was eagerly awaiting the legendary nesting stage in the late stages of my pregnancy to see myself transformed into a fabulously feminine and motivated domestic goddess type person but instead of a full butterfly like transformation I experienced a small fluttering of domesticity by way of an urge to buy stuff. Which I am pretty sure was there before. But this time it was, at least, an urge to buy stuff for the transformation of the office like spare room into something more like a babies room. I say it was a nesting urge nonetheless. Yay. I am woman.
This urge to decorate the nursery resulted in trying out wall stickers. My perception of wall stickers before my personal venture into this entirely new world was that they were the kind of not very cool thing people who also knit “there´s no place like home” wall hangings and embroider doiles might use to “brighten up a room” by, say, creating borders and floral features on walls with stencils. Naturally the pervayers of these wall stickers would also be into lavender and purple in general. However, I have discovered wall stickers (or decals) are part of a whole world of very cool designs and interior decorating. For me it’s turned out to be one of those things that until you’d heard about them, well you hadn’t heard about them… and then when you start looking into it you wonder how you could have missed it. There are a LOT of sites where you can buy wall stickers (or decals) and the amount of choice online means you can find far more interesting designs than cheesy kids cartoons – which are the wall stickers you tend to see more of in your average home decorating store collection – if you can find one at all.
