21
Nov
2010
Not a good week in the mothering stakes
with any luck, I won't end up in these
We had gastro round here last week. Or more precisely – I had gastro. Everyone else had a touch (clearly a touch was almost death’s door for husband) and got through with a day or so of feeling unwell. I, however, spent the better part of nine days lying prostrate wherever the moment took me – on the sofa, on my bed, on the bedroom floor, on the front step (much to the confusion of both the 90 year old next door neighbour and the Italian parking attendant).
17
Oct
2010
HERDING CATS. OR HOW TO THROW A KID’S PARTY – PART 3. THE GAMES.
probably not for a 2 year old's party.
OK, this will be my last one on parties I promise. Anyway, I’ve done the planning of the party and the all-important party cake, but I think it is necessary to cover the final essential bits of the party – namely the games. Oh, and I forgot the food – ok, maybe this is the second last.
Firstly, can I highly recommend you find a really dodgy game that involves something slightly humiliating for the compere to do? Say running around a garden holding up signs whilst wearing a train driver’s uniform trying to corral a large number of three year olds in a straight line behind them? And ensure that any husband who might not have been of huge assistance with arranging party becomes the aforementioned compere? Just a suggestion.
In other tips:
1. If they’re under 3, don’t bother, just load ‘em up on cake and watch them run round the garden hopped up on chocolate and juice.
10
Aug
2010
World’s Worst Mother Award – or how to counter your smugness in a couple of easy steps
So you know when you are feeling really smug about something that things can take a turn for the worse?
This could well be me accepting the award
Like when you move out of your first house in London that you hate into one that you absolutely adore, and then regularly drive down your old street just to lean out the window and say ‘’aaaarrrrgggh, suffer’ to the old house? And then get a call from your landlady at awesome new house saying she wants awesome house back for herself and you have one month to vacate? And you end up living with your parents-in-law?
Or like when you feel really clever about getting up to date with all your personal admin and then realise you have forgotten to renew your visa meaning a last minute dash to Wales on the day it is due to expire, and costing an additional £830 for a priority in-person appointment? And 24 hours before said priority appointment, manage to lose your passport while organising papers for said visa? Meaning an emergency emergency appointment at Australian High Commission to replace said passport, only to discover (day before emergency trip to Wales) that some amazing soul has handed it in at the High Commission but in the process of preparing documents, photos plus emergency drive-as-fast-as-you-can taxi rides, adding another 100 quid to the cost of said visa process?
7
Dec
2009
Some thoughts on the world going mad about children.
I should start this post by saying that I love my children. Even the annoying one. No really, I do. They are funny and cute and entertaining and relatively well behaved. My life changed when I had them and although I still sometimes mourn the loss of my old life, for the most part my life has changed for the better. And I suppose they have become my anchor (not in a weighing me down til I drown way, as in a nice kind of centre of my world way – yes, probably a bad analogy in retrospect) but it doesn’t mean that they have taken over my life.
1
Dec
2009
Grumpy Love
Kate’s previous post – on the joy of witnessing the beautiful relationship between her father-in-law and his grandson – almost brought a tear to my eye, seriously.
Perhaps, your parents or in-laws don’t have quite so soft an approach. If things aren’t looking as rosy on the surface of your child’s relationship with his or her grandparents, on the positive side, they may be subscribing to famous writer, Isabel Allende’s, approach to grand-parenting. I’ve been waiting for the opportunity to use this fabulous quote that a friend shared with me not long ago. From, “My Invented Country“;
“In contrast to most Chileans, in our family we didn’t touch much and babies were never coddled. The modern custom to extolling a child’s every move as if it were witty and charming was not in vogue, nor was there anxiety about bringing up offspring who were free of traumas. Just as well, because if I’d been brought up protected and happy, what the devil would I write about now? With this in mind, I’ve tried to make my grandchildren’s childhood as difficult as possible so they will grow up to be creative adults. Their parents are not at all appreciative of my efforts.”
29
Nov
2009
why my father-in-law is like a free steak knife.
This is not my father-in-law.
My father-in-law is probably what is known as old school. He is an adorable man, but his domestic skills are what might be called archaic basic. I’m not sure he has ever picked up a vacuum cleaner in his life, and he has been known to watch me drag in ten or so bags of heavy shopping, unpack them, unload the dishwasher and peel a bag of potatoes while peacefully reading the newspaper at the kitchen bench. A loving father, he has worked hard all his life supporting his family, but certainly he didn’t participate very actively in childminding, and I very much doubt he knew what a nappy was.
