4
Aug
2011
Craft is the only way you will truly feel like a real mother.
It’s finally happened. Today I did craft. I am sorry it has been so long since I have written a post. I am even sorrier that it has taken craft to get me to put pen to paper. Or finger to keyboard. But such is my life right at present that craft has actually done it.
Let me not offend those crafty types amongst us. I have the utmost admiration for crafty people, with their scrapbooks and fabric and natty little sewing machines, whipping up natty little crafty things. But craft is not for me. I don’t have a natty little bone in my body. My handwriting is so bad that I got extra time in my final school exams to rewrite my essays. And if my handwriting is so bad, you can only imagine what my drawing is like. It’s a combination of very little patience, even less of an artistic eye and a solid belief (grounded in reality) that anything I attempt will generally end in a bloody finger, lots of swear words and something that frankly, looks like crap that my three year old could have made. And this is from a child that thinks drawing a black dot on a piece of paper and sticky taping it to his chest means he is wearing a superhero badge.
12
Dec
2010
New family tradition and a shameful confession
I have a shameful confession to make. Although I am boastful and annoyingly proud of my children’s eating regime, we *whispers* never eat as a family. I KNOW. HORRIFYING. I bang on and on about their table manners, I make them eat copious amounts of vegies, I supervise their eating at their little table, I am smug about their love of plain yoghurt.
But it’s not at the big table. It’s not with me and the Captain eating beside them (well, except for obvious shameful stealing of anything that looks good and doesn’t involve broccoli).
It suddenly struck me when we were discussing Christmas lunch – this will be the first year that son will be allowed to sit at the table with us all rather than banished to naptime in his cot – we never ever eat together as a family. Well, except for yum cha/dim sum, where getting food in as fast as you can, drinking juith with a bendy straw and spilling food at the table, is all positively encouraged. Not something I think aunt and uncle will appreciate at carefully laid Christmas feast table.
9
Nov
2010
It starts with pirates.
A while ago the lovely Gigi from mumsrock asked me to write a piece for her cool site. Obviously I told her that if she paid me a large fee, gave me the copyright and licensing fees then I might be able to manage something. Or maybe I just said ‘sure, when would you like it?’ I can’t quite remember. Anyway, the piece is up at the mumsrock site now, and here it is below for your reading pleasure…..
I’ve got pirates on my fridge. No, not some weird Johnny Depp type apparition – fridge magnet pirates. I used to have a study. The place where I used to sit and write witty and informative pieces on the state of the world. It now houses a cardboard box car, a wheely ladybird, several sacks of leftover sandpit sand and three hundred and seventy two pieces of puzzle waiting to be sorted. Possibly three hundred and seventy three. I am the Queen of Minimalism. I can’t bear nick-nacks and I’ve only just come around to having my fruit bowl on display. That’s been something of a breakthrough. So it has come as possibly the worst shock of motherhood (just before the horror of ugly nappy bags and the indignity of the electric breast pump) to find out that the main aim of the little buggers blighters is to TAKE OVER YOUR HOUSE.
31
Aug
2010
Herding cats. Or how to throw a kid’s party – part 2
So – part one was about the basics – planning the party. But every kid knows that planning the party is secondary. The venue can be ace, the games fun, the fire thrower awesome, but if you don’t get the main event right then all else may as well be thrown out with the pass the parcel.
Yes, I am of course referring to The Cake. Big, small, cupcake, multi-layered behemoth, store-bought, ice-cream, homemade – The Cake is the big kahuna of the party day. You have to have one.
If you’re Australian it is likely that you spent some time in your childhood pouring over the Cake Bible – second only to choosing your showbags from the newspaper lift-out (if you’re not from Australia, you just had to be there I’m sorry, but believe me, the day that lift-out came out was the BEST DAY OF THE YEAR) was the choosing of the cake from the Australian Women’s Weekly Kid’s Birthday Cakes Book. And if you don’t believe me, then see someone far more amusing than me…
Anyway – here are other top tips about cake preparation:
17
Aug
2010
Herding cats. Or how to throw a kid’s party – part 1
Not appropriate for a three year old. And frankly, a little bit disturbing at any age?
I have been planning my son’s 3rd birthday party basically since his 2nd birthday. I know – what a nerd. But that won’t be news to anyone who knows me – I do love a drink good shindig. And as I have the most amazing memories of parties thrown by my mum, I guess I’m just trying to make sure my children have the same sort of memories. Of course, emulating my mother’s parties is a slippery slope. It’s only a hop step and a jump from similar parties to bridge games four times a week and antique shopping. Before we know it I’ll be posting about ten ways to improve your family tree (sorry Mum – I really am dying to see the results of the three thousand years of research you’ve done.)
Where was I? Oh yes – parties. Seriously, how can you not like kid’s parties? The mess, the screams, the tears – there’s something for everyone. Personally, I’m in it for the cake and the champagne. And the fairy bread – which I have discovered today is an Australian thing. Who knew? And if you are unaware of the JOYS of fairy bread – see here. In the meantime, here are my top tips:
24
Apr
2010
Moving on Up. Or down. Or sideways or something. With a handy moving house list.
I have just moved house for about the ninth time. No wait, I just counted. 14 moves in nine years. Including several changes of country and state. This one was only ten minutes drive away – walk in the park really. No wait, I forgot, it wasn’t, it was a PHENOMENAL PAIN IN THE AR*E.
I mean, putting on the rose tinteds, there are definitely things I actually enjoy about moving. For example:
The house search. At least for the first few weeks when you are full of hope and anticipation. The list of possibilities seems endless, your budget really quite big. The real estate agents are desperate to show you places and badger you with houses.
The packing. I enjoy the process of streamlining every time I pack. The massive charity piles, the rubbish piles, the ‘I haven’t worn it in two years so I will just think about it’ piles.
Removalists. 14 moves, and generally a wonderful luxury having someone moving your stuff for you (as you recall endless dropping of sofas on your own in younger poorer days). Good ones including the slight surprise of the one-armed removalist man. No, I am not joking – he was a genius.
24
Dec
2009
Nativity Scene and Pine Trees
Christmas Tree
We may have laboured the Christmas theme a bit but I wanted to:
a. Have the last word on it and be able to sign off before holidays saying “Merry Christmas”.
b. Show you my nativity scene and Christmas tree (the true artistic genius of which I think may not been captured in these photos) and
c. Write a post with bullet points/an itemised list so that I could demonstrate that while I may never surpass Kate in the lists department, I too can throw an alphabetised list together when necessary.
So, how good is my tree? One might say it represents my understated style. Certainly I do. To anyone that will listen.
And my nativity scene — sure, I am not sure how many stocky, short dairy cows there were in Bethlehem in those days. I’ll admit they look a bit incongruous next to the desert palm tree.
Nativity Scene
Right. I’m off to glaze a ham, which is carrying more than the usual pressure as I am representing the British and Commonwealth’s traditional Christmas dinner to the Spanish family.
13
Dec
2009
For the slack Christmas shoppers – last minute ideas
I was going to do a long post on Christmas present ideas. Then I started getting them come in thick and fast from my favourite blogs and I decided that:
a) I had left it too late
b) I couldn’t possibly outdo the lists I have already been sent and
c) Why on earth would I rewrite a whole post that I was clearly going to shamelessly copy from other sources anyway (ah, Internet, bless your cotton socks)?
So I thought I would highlight a few fun ideas/gifts and then give you the links to my favourite present lists for you to peruse at your leisure (or not – Christmas is only 12 days away. If you haven’t finished yet you’re absolutely buggered).
Nice traditions for book-loving parents
- See Jacqui’s post on passing down books. What a gorgeous idea.
- Stolen from Babyology – think about starting a tradition where you give each child a special book – like a special hardcover or vintage book. Do books come in vintage? We’ve bought the Mouse a hardcover set of Beatrix Potter. I hope she doesn’t read this and find out. She is 14 weeks and VERY advanced.
10
Nov
2009
What is Etsy? Helping you keep up with the cool kids.
If you get any cool blog alerts sent to you, or tend to trawl the web a bit (in a very non geek-I-have-a-life manner), you will no doubt have come across references to ‘Etsy’. And if you are genuinely cool and don’t surf, you should still pay attention because Etsy is actually really good. Not in a facebook/twitter/2.0 kind of way – in an oh my goodness, some of these things are beautiful, I must buy something immediately kind of way.
So Etsy is like a massive online shop, where people who make things can sell their wares. But we are not talking all painted light globes and pet rocks here (although I am sure they are there somewhere), there are actually high quality, beautiful and individual pieces of jewellery, craft, art and clothing, alongside vintage gear. According to Wikipedia (and what quality journalist wouldn’t quote Wikipedia?) it has been compared to “a crafty cross between Amazon and eBay”. Don’t get me wrong – there is some utter sh*te , but there are also some fab pieces.
So – in order to sound truly hip and with it, feel free to drop the following conversational gems into dinner party chit-chat:
6
Aug
2009
Wall Stickers – Decorating the Nursery, Low Maintenance Style
I was eagerly awaiting the legendary nesting stage in the late stages of my pregnancy to see myself transformed into a fabulously feminine and motivated domestic goddess type person but instead of a full butterfly like transformation I experienced a small fluttering of domesticity by way of an urge to buy stuff. Which I am pretty sure was there before. But this time it was, at least, an urge to buy stuff for the transformation of the office like spare room into something more like a babies room. I say it was a nesting urge nonetheless. Yay. I am woman.
This urge to decorate the nursery resulted in trying out wall stickers. My perception of wall stickers before my personal venture into this entirely new world was that they were the kind of not very cool thing people who also knit “there´s no place like home” wall hangings and embroider doiles might use to “brighten up a room” by, say, creating borders and floral features on walls with stencils. Naturally the pervayers of these wall stickers would also be into lavender and purple in general. However, I have discovered wall stickers (or decals) are part of a whole world of very cool designs and interior decorating. For me it’s turned out to be one of those things that until you’d heard about them, well you hadn’t heard about them… and then when you start looking into it you wonder how you could have missed it. There are a LOT of sites where you can buy wall stickers (or decals) and the amount of choice online means you can find far more interesting designs than cheesy kids cartoons – which are the wall stickers you tend to see more of in your average home decorating store collection – if you can find one at all.
