27
Sep
2010
What to expect when you’re expecting. Or rather – what to do when you’re expecting. Except that doesn’t sound nearly as catchy.
Which may well be why the authors of What to Expect are undoubtedly gazillionaires and I am writing a pink blog.
I have a couple of friends recently who have announced their first pregnancies. Naturally they have turned to someone as wise and insightful as me to advise
them as they take their first tentative steps into the world of bulging stomachs and weeing incessentaly. Or rather, one of them said ‘you must have a nerdy spreadsheet for this sort of thing.’ Au contraire my tubby little friend – I don’t have a single spreadsheet, I have several. And lots of posts. But I guess I have never summarised it all into a neat little package of a posty thing – so here it is, my guide to WHAT THE HELL DO I DO NOW? Apart from all the medical/hospitaly/birthy stuff of course…
- Panic. You are bringing a new person into the world. Much can go wrong and you’re probably already well on the way to f*cking up your kid’s life already. Nice one. Oh, ok, disregard that one – here’s the real list….
5
Apr
2010
Mere Male: celebrating the stay-at-home dad. Or mum really.
So we let a man into the blog in a defenceless moment….
A few weeks ago at one of our post work pub gatherings, a group of male friends and I were discussing whether we would prefer to work or be stay at home fathers. The universal view was that whilst work sometimes may just be a means to an end rather than a passion, is often stressful and demanding and is invariably fraught with politics, it was still infinitely preferable to being at home with children. I often greet my wife with a variation on the “I’d love to give up working and go to coffee mornings and play dates all week” theme (note to any fathers reading this, try this line at home, they love it despite what the reaction might suggest) but I’d bet serious money, if I had any, that if I did take my wife up on her offer to switch roles, within the week she’d come home to find someone thumb in mouth, gently rocking themselves and calling for their mummy, just not one of her children.
Why is this? A few observations:
26
Mar
2010
When good yoga goes bad
very close likeness of my yoga teacher. possibly her sister.
UPDATE: I know this is an old one but Jac is on holiday this week so I’m re-posting one of my favourites that she wrote! Cheers, Kate
If you’re not already a Yoga or Pilates devotee, there is a very good chance that on falling pregnant you’ll be encouraged to start attending a Yoga or Pilates class especially for the impregnated. Finding the right class for you can be pretty challenging and let me just say, possibly, as my recent experience demonstrated, a little bit frightening.
Finding a new yoga teacher in Madrid has not been an easy task. After sifting through several tie die themed yoga websites and brochures, I found a fairly modern looking studio and booked in for my first set of classes. Despite the shiny, new exterior of the yoga studio, the teacher turned out to be the kind of crystal, purple cardigan wearing, yoga stereotype I had been trying to avoid. The classes were just not what I was after. I wanted to work out, and this class was a lot closer to mediation than exercise.
4
Mar
2010
Buggy Running: As If Just Running Wasn’t Hard Enough
Brooke Shields with stroller. See now she can afford a gym and a personal trainer. So if she 'Chooses To Run' with a Buggy, it's got to be good.
I was not born to run. I am not motivated to run by a need to get my daily endorphin fix. If only. I’m not sure I’ve experienced this mystical endorphin rush, unless that funny chilly feeling and nausea I sometimes get from attempting to run beyond my capacity to do so counts. Running for me is HARD, requiring the mental as well as the physical energy to keep me going throughout the entire battling duration. Forty-five minutes of teeth gritting and negotiations in my head that make deals with myself to keep going to the next post, the next five minutes, permission to slow down as long as I keep going and many more creative attempts to convince myself not to stop.
31
Jan
2010
Women in piggy tails – why it can be so right.
Last week I watched a grown woman in a blond piggy tail wig and pinafore dancing around and running away from a grown man in a bearskin. No, much to my disappointment I was not at a new avant garde club night. What I do after hours is on my other blog, www.fetishtastic.com.au (shame on you for clicking).
No, I was at an under 4s performance of Goldilocks. I did spend the entire 45 minutes wondering what led these two people to be performing in this show — I am presuming they were wannabe Eastenders stars or perhaps more serious Shakespearean types. Or maybe I am doing them a gross disservice, maybe there is a whole children’s acting career path – starts with a being a giant sandwich in a mall, next stop the dizzying heights of Disneyland? I am NOT dissing the acting which was nothing short of superb. Let’s face it, anyone who can keep a group of about thirty under 4s mostly spellbound for the better part of 45 minutes is a shoo-in to win the X-Factor.
12
Jan
2010
Baby Carriers – are you a hippy or a trendy?
I know very little about baby carriers and slings. But I am nothing if not helpful, and someone asked me the other day about which one was the best, so Alex – this one’s for you. Oh, and anyone else pondering the great unknown of the carrying/wearing world. Just writing to Alex would be weird. Although she is already probably slightly uncomfortable at having a whole post dedicated to her. Quite selfish the rest of you are thinking? I know – Alex is like that. Anyway, poor Alex, don’t be mean to her if you meet her, she can’t help being like that.
So slings, carriers and pack thingies – they are your big three segments. Slings are for babywearing hippies, carriers for trendy inner-city types and packs for healthy ruddy-faced outdoorsy types. Who carry hiking sticks. Got that? I love a good generalisation. Now this is not supposed to be the pinnacle of research, just a point in the right direction for beginners, to start you off even better than my ramblings, you might want to read this Which column.
22
Dec
2009
The dad’s role in pregnancy.
a pathetic attempt to appeal to the males
I wrote a whole post about Christmas traditions. Then the Captain told me he was over Christmas. And my traditions. Hmm, thought maybe the rest of the world was too (yes, I am aware that not EVERYONE in the world is reading our blog – more fool them) and I am all about pleasing the readers. One of his friends had some helpful suggestions about how I could improve the male readership of this blog. The key one was introducing sports coverage – specifically, blow by blow accounts of any event where England is playing Australia. Probably not going to happen today, but you’ll know when I start cutting and pasting the BBC sports coverage that things have got dire.
In the meantime – how about some thoughts on the male role in pregnancy? There are any number of books on the topic and hundreds of articles written every year. Most of them focus on loving support. It’s true, loving supportiveness is good, but there are some more specific steps you can take to ensure you remain the father of your unborn child. So here are Kate’s top tips on how you can be the best pregnancy person ever:
20
Dec
2009
Things I have wasted money on
If you ask my husband — most of my wardrobe, half the bathroom cabinet, all of my top drawer, the spice cupboard, the bottom three shelves of the bookshelf and everything in my half of the CD rack — falls into this category. But for the purposes of this post I will keep it to Items I Have Bought for Children or Childbearing Purposes. Also known as Things Kate’s Friends Should Have Told Her.
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7
Dec
2009
Some thoughts on the world going mad about children.
I should start this post by saying that I love my children. Even the annoying one. No really, I do. They are funny and cute and entertaining and relatively well behaved. My life changed when I had them and although I still sometimes mourn the loss of my old life, for the most part my life has changed for the better. And I suppose they have become my anchor (not in a weighing me down til I drown way, as in a nice kind of centre of my world way – yes, probably a bad analogy in retrospect) but it doesn’t mean that they have taken over my life.
6
Dec
2009
Babymoons – essential pre-child experience, shameless marketing ploy or clever female trick to squeeze in another massage? Also – how the Sydney Morning Herald shamelessly stole my scoop.
naff swimming costumes TOTALLY optional on babymoon
So I have been planning for weeks to write about babymoons and how good they are. And then Rachel Browne from the Sydney Morning Herald COMPLETELY STOLE MY STORY. I suspect some sort of espionage – the SMH has probably been hacking into the back end of the onedayyoullthankme website trying to get the edge on us. Don’t blame them – we are fully on top of the key stories. Like babymoons. Anyway – Rachel talks about how ‘Along with the pram, bassinet, nappies and size 000 singlets, expectant parents are adding babymoons to the long list of must-have items before their newborn arrives.’ WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT MY OPENING PARAGRAPH WAS GOING TO SAY. Almost – except for the size 000 singlets. And I was going to say buggy, not pram. And had a much better use of alliteration. So basically I am a much better writer than Rachel Browne. Journalist, shmournalist – I have a pink blog. Plus, I tend to write in bullet points, which is commonly understood to be a much more innovative approach than say, paragraphs. Here are my top tips:
