21
Mar
2010
Things I have learnt about travelling with kids – part one, the airplane ride. AKA Dante’s vision of Hell.
See that flying thing in the background - that is your child. See those two people in the foreground? You. Possibly attacking an air hostess.
A good friend of mine once commented that you learn something more about travelling with kids every time you do it. I scoffed at the time as how much really can there be to learn? I’ve travelled with a kid long haul and two kids a few times. But now, yes Mill, I think you are right. The little buggers keep growing and their needs changing. As opposed to me, since for about fifteen years now I have been happy with a very short list of travel requirements: business class flights, 5 star resorts and child free swimming pools. And one day I’ll actually achieve it, I’m sure.
Anyway, I have learnt much in this last trip. Far too much – as I have two children and know everything there is to know about child rearing, I am gobsmacked, but it is true, there are things I wish I had known before taking the trip. You know how flying was really boring before you have kids? It’s not so much boring now as some sort of sub-Saharan African sand running marathon endurance event. On the plus side, having experienced it too many times now, flying without them means that even the most budget of airline economy seats feels like business class which is an unexpected bonus not mentioned in What to Expect When You’re Expecting. Cover the big stuff people.
25
Jan
2010
Flying with the devil. Or – how to fly on a plane with your children and not arrive with vomit on your top.
OK, as opposed to the recent post for selfish Alex, here is a selfless one dedicated entirely to myself. I am not long away from embarking upon a 24 hour plane ride with two children. Two. On a plane. One child finds it hard to focus on one thing for more than about three minutes and if doesn’t get his own way has a charming habit of throwing himself upon the nearest flat surface and keening as if at a grave. The other enjoys random Tourette’s like yelps – when she is not screaming until purple in the face about being tired. Or hungry. Or itchy. Or has smelt something funny. Oh, I can already see the faces of the people in the departure lounge, just crossing their fingers and PRAYING they are sitting beside our happy little family.
Anyway – I am planning this trip like a military invasion. Only with less death. I am not focusing on what happens when we get there – just the 24 hours on the way. Don’t even talk to me about the way back when I will be doing it ON MY OWN. Seriously, don’t talk to me, especially if you are my husband. I need every trick in the book, so have been madly researching to come up with The Plan. Here’s what I have thus far:
