Archive for the ‘Toddler’ Category
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9
May
2011
The Terribles
My son at Two = Dark side of the Cookie Monster
I guess I gathered that at some stage around the age of two years toddlers could get a bit difficult, given the existence of the ‘Terrible Twos’ phrase, but on the scant occasions I contemplated that there might be worse to come, I thought, “how much more difficult could it really be than the first 18 months?” Well. JAAAAYSUS Christ. Terrible was a diplomatic choice of adjective. My son is nudging two and, BAM, no sooner were we beginning to contemplate the impending loss of his free flying status than he goes from being a fairly frequent pain in the arse to being a constantly screaming, tantrum-throwing, shouty, crying bi-polar maniac.
Maybe what we’re experiencing is not The Terrible Twos but some ‘acting out’ (are we still using that phrase?) in response to the arrival of his new sister. It doesn’t really matter, it all falls nicely into the category of Terrible.
9
Dec
2010
ENTERTAINMENT UNDER HOUSE CONFINEMENT
photo credit: insidious_plots
Things that child does to entertain himself when he has bronchitis and it’s 5 degrees outside, making you both completely housebound:
Empty all the cupboards parents have deemed “safe” and therefore are in toddlers’ reach: Tupperware, pots (child will bang lid on floor once extracted from drawer or cupboard), sieve, grater (parent forced to cross room in single leap in frantic realisation that grater shouldn’t be in reach), blender (good grief, blade is in there – parent will again run across room again and ply from child’s iron clad grasp), Tupperware (take each smaller size from larger size containers in which they have been carefully stacked), kitchen paper (removed from child only after has rolled half out over floor), plastic kitchen wrap (removed from child’s grasp as they run tongue along serrated box edge), all recycling to be strewn across the floor of the entire house, coke cans stored behind the door clearly should not be kept on the floor so load in to front-loading washing machine (follow by closing machine door and pressing buttons).
Empty all books from Bookshelves
3
Dec
2010
iPhone applications for toddlers
iphone applications for toddlers can be a great addition to your arsenal of distractions and pacifiers. However finding good ones amongst the hundreds available isn’t all that easy. Categorised by Apple and review sites in either “Games” or “Education”, applications suitable for toddlers are lumped in with those for thirty-year-old gamers.
Another problem is that the recommendations engine in iTunes falls very short on its purpose. I’m pretty sure the same kid that enjoys ‘Shake The Farm’ is not also losing themselves in the scrabble iphone application, but that’s what Apple tells me via the “customers who bought this also bought..” recommendation engine. Until that rights itself, it’s going to be a challenge to find the best of the new stuff. It’s also one of the reasons my list of recommended iphone applications for toddlers is kind of short. And, honestly, not particularly ground breaking. But it’s all quality. Your kid will love this stuff, and I’m sure it will keep them happy for at least a little while.
11
Nov
2010
My kid being a ratbag? Tell me about it.
Tantrum, toddler style (CC photo credit: imcountingufoz)
The first time the day care worker told me that my son had a “bad character” I was quite irritated and somewhat offended. (Although, admittedly, I did get some joy from the opportunity to gleefully report the event to my husband as an example of classic Spanish diplomacy). A few months later, I find I’m actually relieved to hear that perhaps my child is a bit more challenging than others. It’s kind of a relief to think that the fact everything that’s supposed to be working, or at least seems to be working for other parents, but meanwhile seems to be a very big challenge for me, is actually possibly not entirely because I am doing something wrong.
We’re not even talking about major problems here – just a toddler that can throw a fairly impressive tantrum, has a super impressive cry (the volume and endurance are spectacular) and is unusually determined to do and get what he wants, including exclusive use of his favourite toys at day care. Wilful, one might say. (In fact, the GP told us just this morning that it’s all completely normal for his age but shhhhhh because I was quite enjoying the sympathy).
5
Nov
2010
The less furry animals at the zoo
We went to the zoo on the weekend. It was my child’s very first zoo visit, one of life’s milestones surely. His obsession with animals and animal noises, plus a complete loss as to what to do with a small toddler on a long weekend, forced me to overcome my aversion to zoos and take the little one to go see the real thing.
There’s also an obsession with cars almost as potent as that for animals but I can’t see myself taking my son to a car show any time soon – not least because they are usually named something like ‘Big Boy’s Toys’. So to the zoo, for the first time in 15 years or more, I went, with son and husband.
My long hiatus from any zoo stems from my dislike of seeing animals behind cages or, even, confined to beautifully designed, well thought out and hugely expensive enclosures. I managed not to get too upset this time, helped along by my husband’s own complete lack of interest in all things nature which meant not stopping for more than two minutes at each viewing point, and we all had a lovely day – the bub’s reaction to seeing some of the animals up close will be forever unforgettable. On the other hand, I did also discover a whole new reason to dislike zoos; and that reason is people.
17
Oct
2010
HERDING CATS. OR HOW TO THROW A KID’S PARTY – PART 3. THE GAMES.
probably not for a 2 year old's party.
OK, this will be my last one on parties I promise. Anyway, I’ve done the planning of the party and the all-important party cake, but I think it is necessary to cover the final essential bits of the party – namely the games. Oh, and I forgot the food – ok, maybe this is the second last.
Firstly, can I highly recommend you find a really dodgy game that involves something slightly humiliating for the compere to do? Say running around a garden holding up signs whilst wearing a train driver’s uniform trying to corral a large number of three year olds in a straight line behind them? And ensure that any husband who might not have been of huge assistance with arranging party becomes the aforementioned compere? Just a suggestion.
In other tips:
1. If they’re under 3, don’t bother, just load ‘em up on cake and watch them run round the garden hopped up on chocolate and juice.
23
Sep
2010
Confessions of a Commercial Baby Food User
photo credit: johnhope14
Kate and I are different in many ways. She worships Gina Ford, I worship..hmm, say.. Lady Gaga and Jack and Karen from Will and Grace. She says dance, I say daance. Kate says “recalcitrant”, I say, “Remind what that means again?” Kate writes about which of the books in her extensive cook book collection have yielded the tastiest and most lauded meals. I feed my baby food from a jar and serve my husband frozen pizza for dinner. Well, when I say serve, I generally mean, point him in the direction of the freezer.
So in stark contrast to Kate’s last post on the wonders of various cookbooks, and in embarrassing contradiction to my own post on my adoption of Annabel Karmel’s toddler recipes (where, in a giddy state following an early and naïve stage of minor success I gushed that if I could do it anybody could – a self-congratulatory euphoria that quickly declined into a state of disappointment and frustration), I am not going to share any best domestic or life tips.
19
Sep
2010
Utterly unexhaustive list of good cookbooks. Somewhat related to family cooking – in a spurious manner
People are always asking me how I do it. How do I whip up healthy and nutritious meals for my family and friends night after night? So healthy and yet so
I am pretty even when whipping up meals night after night.
super tasty, the flavour just oozes out? Alright, no-one has ever asked me that. My husband once said ‘this is good’, but he might have been referring to the football results, I can’t be sure. And of course there was the memorable moment when daughter agreed to eat a second helping of chicken. Son would eat anything. I love Son. I love him the best.
Anyway, I do like to cook. I occasionally invent recipes, but mostly I devour cookbooks. I don’t read them in bed like several of my friends admitted recently – that is just weird friends. I read them in totally normal reading places like on the couch in front of Big Brother worthy current affairs programs and sitting in bookshops ignoring daughter’s mournful looks passing some time while waiting for important meetings.
31
Aug
2010
Herding cats. Or how to throw a kid’s party – part 2
So – part one was about the basics – planning the party. But every kid knows that planning the party is secondary. The venue can be ace, the games fun, the fire thrower awesome, but if you don’t get the main event right then all else may as well be thrown out with the pass the parcel.
Yes, I am of course referring to The Cake. Big, small, cupcake, multi-layered behemoth, store-bought, ice-cream, homemade – The Cake is the big kahuna of the party day. You have to have one.
If you’re Australian it is likely that you spent some time in your childhood pouring over the Cake Bible – second only to choosing your showbags from the newspaper lift-out (if you’re not from Australia, you just had to be there I’m sorry, but believe me, the day that lift-out came out was the BEST DAY OF THE YEAR) was the choosing of the cake from the Australian Women’s Weekly Kid’s Birthday Cakes Book. And if you don’t believe me, then see someone far more amusing than me…
Anyway – here are other top tips about cake preparation:
22
Aug
2010
Kate’s Genius Child-Rearing Inventions #1
I have often been described as a genius. By often, I mean I think I heard a teacher say it once. Possibly she said pest. No, definitely genius. Anyway, I present to you the first in my eagerly anticipated series – Kate’s Genius Child-Rearing Inventions. These are things that I have never seen in a shop – possibly as they may cause injury – but DEFINITELY should be in a shop. People would buy these things.
Pop-up remote controlled electric fence.
A little less violent
You know when you’re in a park. Or a coffee shop or a circus. And you have a small child running in the wrong direction. Or crawling away as fast as their little legs can move? And you really want to finish the end of JUST ONE sentence before interrupting your conversation to drag them back to the designated zone? This is where you whip out your remote control, press the buzzer and a child proof forcefield is erected. Nothing too violent – it wouldn’t give them an electric shock (that’s part of my invention #21) – would just keep them in a defined area, unable to disappear behind a faraway hedge, smear ice-cream on any one’s leather sofa or empty salt out of every salt shaker behind the waiter’s station.
