Archive for the ‘rants’ Category
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7
Dec
2009
Some thoughts on the world going mad about children.
I should start this post by saying that I love my children. Even the annoying one. No really, I do. They are funny and cute and entertaining and relatively well behaved. My life changed when I had them and although I still sometimes mourn the loss of my old life, for the most part my life has changed for the better. And I suppose they have become my anchor (not in a weighing me down til I drown way, as in a nice kind of centre of my world way – yes, probably a bad analogy in retrospect) but it doesn’t mean that they have taken over my life.
13
Nov
2009
Australian men need a good kick in the pants
CC photo credit: Lucy Boynton
You heard me. Dating wise, they really need to pick up their game. I was reading this post on Mamamia the other day which is a question from a reader, Abby, about handling an invitation to a date from a guy she’d briefly met, how to let a guy down nicely in general and whether to go or not when you’re not particularly keen from the get-go. I weighed in to the comments with some wisdom from my extensive single years – you should go and in general when you don’t want to go on a date or a follow up date, the best way to let someone down is to just not return the call. After a first date or, indeed before, you shouldn’t have to have a break up conversation or provide any kind of explanation really. If you don’t return their calls, they’ll figure it out. It’s been the majority of mens’ technique for years.
8
Nov
2009
Pre-natal classes in need of an overhaul
Photo credit: Babymama, Universal Pictures
Someone needs to throw me a line here so I can stop scaring the shit out of my friends and tell me that, yes, there are some pre-natal classes that are actually useful. Because mine was 100% completely and utterly useless.
The breathing classes were totally lame. L.A.M.E. We’re trying to reduce the pain of child birth here, not a paper cut. What sane person thinks a little in and out breathing is going to achieve anything? AND, how the hell do they expect us to remember five different breathing exercises each with it’s own little stages? In through the mouth, out through the nose, at 10 seconds change, change to out through the nose and in through the mouth, at 30 seconds change, reverse, slower, faster, now shallow, now deep…Oh COME ON. What am I going to do, write it on my palm when my waters break? P-lease. Plus, anyway, even if I did want to do anything as ridiculous as write notes on my palm for childbirth, which I totally wouldn’t, the little parabolic graphs with the different breathing changes at each stage of the contraction wouldn’t fit so I would have to, I don’t know, wear those giant hands people take to the cricket, and THEN write the notes on there. Which, obviously, takes impracticality to a whole new level.
4
Nov
2009
8 reasons why I love IKEA (but not the Billy Bookcase) and other storage solution meccas.
I love IKEA. As I have already posted previously, my love borders on the extreme. I also have love for Howard’s Storage World in Australia and Lakeland in the UK. Something about a massive catalogue and an innovative storage solution makes me overly excited. How do I love thee? Let me count the ways (yes, this is just a clever ploy to allow me to write yet another list):
- Because it makes me think I can be better. It’s a bit like starting the new school year – everytime I visit a store and see a new clever way to store my magazines, I think I’m going to be good. This time I will be neat and tidy and everything will be in an easily accessible and yet attractive place in my sleek Scandinavian home. A man called Sven will whip up meatballs and lingonberry juices (no, I don’t know if lingonberries really exist either). In short, my life will be perfect.
21
Oct
2009
Thanks for the advice
photo credit: rahego
I was stopped in the street this morning by a kindly woman who went to the trouble of doubling back to suggest that I put a hat on my baby, who was, by the way, happily cruising along in a luxury, wind sheltered buggy. She pointed out with much consternation that his ears would be cold. How very considerate of her to share her concern. I’ve never heard of death by cold ears but you really can’t be too careful these days.
So I wanted to take this occasion to say a big THANK YOU, not just to her but also to all those people that have given me helpful and not-so-helpful advice, solicited and unsolicited, over the last 4 months. Because let’s face it, even if the advice flies exactly in the face of what the wiser part of the medical profession would recommend, it’s come from the heart, or at least some other functional part of the body.
