Archive for the ‘Other’ Category
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5
Jul
2010
The post about what to give when you’re not giving flowers
For the love of god, NO.
There are only so many flowers a person needs. Honestly. And this goes for sick people, as well as new mothers. Firstly, who has fourteen vases in the right shape and colour for fourteen different bunches? Secondly, who has fourteen mantelpieces to put them on? And thirdly, umm, who needs that many flowers? But who has the time to think of clever and thoughtful yet awesome value presents for people these days? What with full on jobs or full on children or full on both, you need some help. And they don’t call me Helpful Harriet for nothing. Actually, no one calls me Helpful Harriet but I am hoping if I use it enough, it will catch on. So here are some suggestions. Some of them might also be useful for someone who is coping with an illness, a bereavement, a break-up or a general rough time. You are welcome.
The gift of time
17
May
2010
Gina Ford – the case FOR.
Do not set one of those up in your back garden to burn books. This would be weird.
Oh my god, my pulse is racing, my heart is beating faster and I can hear Jacqui yelling from Madrid. It’s that time. Time for the post I have been thinking about since we started the blog. The Dame Gina Ford post.
If you’ve had a child in the past ten odd years in the UK or Australia, you’d have to be a bit lacking in eyes and/or ears to have missed one of her books on the parenting bookshelves, seen referenece to her methods on the internet or heard mention of her routines from other parents. The most popular book is The Very Contented Baby, but there are various follow-ups including The Contented Baby with Toddler.
At the outset, I need to divulge something that might already be obvious – I love Gina. There, I’ve said it. It’s out there. Let the stabbings commence and the bags full of poo start arriving on our doorstep, but it is true – her methods have worked like an incredible charm for our family and Gina (or The Big G (TBG) as we prefer to call her) rules the child routine roost around at our pad.
26
Apr
2010
Things that make me vomit. And other fun stories about toddlers.
Many may be needed.
The day I hoped would never come is here. Or rather I hoped it would come, but I hoped someone else would have to deal with it. But no, no other mother has popped out of the woodwork offering to take over my role for a few months. So…… it is POTTY TRAINING TIME.
I have enjoyed each new stage up until now (apart from the hellish non-feeding phase of the first baby which I have conveniently blocked from all memory). The weaning was fun, the walking, the learning to feed themselves, talking (offensive swearing toddler aside) — all good stuff. But this, this is something I am ill-prepared for. Mentally, physically, emotionally, I am just not a potty-training type of person. I have a number of issues here:
- I am not a massive fan of talking about bodily functions. I cringe when I hear myself saying “can you do wee-wees for Mummy?” and my voice drops four volume levels when I ask my little angel if he needs to do poo-poos. The thought of having to spend the next few weeks (months? years?) talking about this is KILLING me.
24
Apr
2010
Moving on Up. Or down. Or sideways or something. With a handy moving house list.
I have just moved house for about the ninth time. No wait, I just counted. 14 moves in nine years. Including several changes of country and state. This one was only ten minutes drive away – walk in the park really. No wait, I forgot, it wasn’t, it was a PHENOMENAL PAIN IN THE AR*E.
I mean, putting on the rose tinteds, there are definitely things I actually enjoy about moving. For example:
The house search. At least for the first few weeks when you are full of hope and anticipation. The list of possibilities seems endless, your budget really quite big. The real estate agents are desperate to show you places and badger you with houses.
The packing. I enjoy the process of streamlining every time I pack. The massive charity piles, the rubbish piles, the ‘I haven’t worn it in two years so I will just think about it’ piles.
Removalists. 14 moves, and generally a wonderful luxury having someone moving your stuff for you (as you recall endless dropping of sofas on your own in younger poorer days). Good ones including the slight surprise of the one-armed removalist man. No, I am not joking – he was a genius.
8
Apr
2010
A test: do you have a good sense of humour?
I have a self-created test I like to give new friends. I’m away from home, I need to speed up the friend making process (clearly I am not doing too well trying to get by on just my good looks and snappy repartee).
I don’t make it obvious of course. I don’t give out a paper quiz at the first meeting. Far more subtle — I wait a few weeks, once we are officially on email friend level, and then send on a particular joke electronically. A ‘that’s funny!’ response means they just didn’t get it. An ‘lol!’ response shows that they are annoying and use text speak and are either a decade younger than me or just pretending to be, either way they are still off the list OBVIOUSLY didn’t think it was genius and need to be reassessed. No response means they are probably part of some weird anti-comedy movement and are planning my death. Really, if they don’t respond in the correct way – ie, ‘that was HILARIOUS Kate’ , I have to ditch them. I couldn’t possibly associate with people like that — clearly they would mess with my own wisecracking mojo.
11
Mar
2010
Loss of drinking shoes
This is me the morning after. Although I had hair. And leftover mascara. This guy looks good compared to me.
Despite recent cries about the fact that I am not getting old, I appear to stand somewhat corrected as confirmed to me recently by my inability to handle a 3am finish.
On the one hand, massive backslaps to me for making it to 3am. A 3am which, I might add, included several shots with the requisite sexual innuendo laden moniker – something slippery or hairy, I believe. I also talked a lot of nonsense, pretended I didn’t have two children, danced in a non-dance floor environment, put the world to rights with the girls, watched a half naked girl gyrate with a slightly sinister looking Russian gentleman and spent some time discussing whether the length of her skirt made her a working girl, or just look like a working girl; either way, it was entertaining to watch. 3 am I tell you, ooohh regardez-moi.
4
Mar
2010
Buggy Running: As If Just Running Wasn’t Hard Enough
Brooke Shields with stroller. See now she can afford a gym and a personal trainer. So if she 'Chooses To Run' with a Buggy, it's got to be good.
I was not born to run. I am not motivated to run by a need to get my daily endorphin fix. If only. I’m not sure I’ve experienced this mystical endorphin rush, unless that funny chilly feeling and nausea I sometimes get from attempting to run beyond my capacity to do so counts. Running for me is HARD, requiring the mental as well as the physical energy to keep me going throughout the entire battling duration. Forty-five minutes of teeth gritting and negotiations in my head that make deals with myself to keep going to the next post, the next five minutes, permission to slow down as long as I keep going and many more creative attempts to convince myself not to stop.
14
Feb
2010
43 New Year’s Resolutions. Well, 8. But they are going well.
NAILing it - get it?? I know, my pictures are getting more obscure.
So it’s February. Almost the end of February really. So when am I going to start my new year’s resolutions?
Actually, I’m being slightly disingenuous here as I have a confession to make. I am NAILING my resolutions. Nailing them I tell you. Usually February finds me glass of wine in one hand, chocolate bar in the other with the same five kilos hovering somewhere around my middle discussing the 10km run I almost signed up for and the career change that is juuuuuust around the corner.
25
Jan
2010
The case of the disappearing career.
I cannot find a picture of a hen with its mouth open. Please use your imagination to imagine a hen. With mouth open. But no teeth.
A good friend asked me today what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. She was talking about my career, rather than whether I was planning on keeping the children. At least, I think she was — my daughter was being particularly irritating today so it would have been a valid question.
So the career. Ah yes. It was a good one. I loved the intellectual stimulation, the office banter, clever people around me (except the dim ones of course) and I loved so many of the teams that I worked with. Until I realised I didn’t really enjoy what I did. And that I was working myself to the bone with ridiculous hours and ungrateful sods demanding clients. And I was basically miserable in my industry. All of which wasn’t really conducive to being a happy mother and wife, let alone a happy worker. So now I find myself in the maternity leave tunnel with no light at the end.
17
Dec
2009
The Very Talented Anneka Tran
"Single Tree" 3D Illustration by Anneka Tran. Visit her blog at http://annekatran.blogspot.com/
Many of you I am sure have been admiring the illustrations on our site. We’ve put them there to distract you from the writing. All of them were done by illustrator Anneka Tran, a young, energetic and very talented lady from Staffordshire, England. Anneka has her own blog and website which shows her amazing selection of illustrations and work.
The blog also gives an indication of her impressive work ethic, with something new and gorgeous posted almost every week. When we brief Anneka for an illustration it takes longer for us to pick up her response email and approve the drafts than it does for Anneka to whip the illustration itself. Sometimes it’s actually scary.
The artist’s latest, self-assigned large scale project was an illustration (well more like a series of illustrations) of The Table Of Elements. How’s THAT for self-motivation? I don’t think I have ever given myself an assignment. If I hadn’t partnered with Kate on this blog and given myself some outside pressure I wouldn’t get anything done. You can check out Anneka’s Table Of Elements here. Art meets geek, and the result is amazing. Be sure to scroll down on the article to see the larger images.
