Archive for the ‘0 - 6 months’ Category
You are currently browsing the archives for the 0 - 6 months category.
22
Aug
2010
Kate’s Genius Child-Rearing Inventions #1
I have often been described as a genius. By often, I mean I think I heard a teacher say it once. Possibly she said pest. No, definitely genius. Anyway, I present to you the first in my eagerly anticipated series – Kate’s Genius Child-Rearing Inventions. These are things that I have never seen in a shop – possibly as they may cause injury – but DEFINITELY should be in a shop. People would buy these things.
Pop-up remote controlled electric fence.
A little less violent
You know when you’re in a park. Or a coffee shop or a circus. And you have a small child running in the wrong direction. Or crawling away as fast as their little legs can move? And you really want to finish the end of JUST ONE sentence before interrupting your conversation to drag them back to the designated zone? This is where you whip out your remote control, press the buzzer and a child proof forcefield is erected. Nothing too violent – it wouldn’t give them an electric shock (that’s part of my invention #21) – would just keep them in a defined area, unable to disappear behind a faraway hedge, smear ice-cream on any one’s leather sofa or empty salt out of every salt shaker behind the waiter’s station.
2
Aug
2010
Why I am an awesome parent – my new parenting philosophy
ideal parenting position
A male friend of mine sent a group email with the MOST fabulous article this week about ‘idle parenting’. It sparked much comment and a whole new language. The opening sentence of the article by my new hero Tom Hodgkinson sums up the whole concept:
Cancel all clubs, ditch the after-school activities and leave those kids alone.
In other brilliant highlights, the article includes gems such as:
a lazy parent is a good parent
A lot can be achieved by lying in bed. Simply by doing nothing, you can train children to do useful things.
My kids are happy because we’re happy.” Do not suffer. Enjoy your life.
I had no idea that I was already subscribing to such a widespread and legitimate* child raising methodology. But I am loving it.
20
Jul
2010
The big child raising issues. Or how to annoy your husband in the middle of the night.
Do you worry about your children much? I mean clearly, crossing the road, not jumping into the pool or licking other people’s dogs – the things we all worry about. But I am talking about the really big issues. Those that keep us awake at night.
Sometimes I think I am doing aok – I have a nice little pigeon pair (what on EARTH does that mean by the way? And as an aside, I got a lot of congratulations on the birth of daughter. To which I of course blushed and looked suitably proud and modest. Like I had ANYTHING to do with it. Except of course my secret girl making potion sprinkled liberally on husband while sleeping.) . Anyway, a nice little pair who are occasionally well behaved and haven’t set fire to anything in months.
5
Jul
2010
The post about what to give when you’re not giving flowers
For the love of god, NO.
There are only so many flowers a person needs. Honestly. And this goes for sick people, as well as new mothers. Firstly, who has fourteen vases in the right shape and colour for fourteen different bunches? Secondly, who has fourteen mantelpieces to put them on? And thirdly, umm, who needs that many flowers? But who has the time to think of clever and thoughtful yet awesome value presents for people these days? What with full on jobs or full on children or full on both, you need some help. And they don’t call me Helpful Harriet for nothing. Actually, no one calls me Helpful Harriet but I am hoping if I use it enough, it will catch on. So here are some suggestions. Some of them might also be useful for someone who is coping with an illness, a bereavement, a break-up or a general rough time. You are welcome.
The gift of time
1
Jul
2010
Björn it Up Baby
Baby Bjorn Babysitter Balance
I’ll admit that I like Baby Björn branding. It’s not just the clever word play, it’s that it also makes me think of Björn Borg and I can’t help but think that a little bit of his retro cool might rub off on me if I buy something from Baby Björn*. It’s his general coolness I’m aspiring to you understand, not his wardrobe at the peak of his fame – I’m not going to start wearing tight white shorts, long socks and terri towelling headbands. Though I don’t doubt there are some very fashionable people that could carry that off. I just don’t have the legs for it. Or the hair.
But I drew the line at the 80 plus euro for a baby chair/baby sitter/bouncing cradle. I remembered the metal frame strung with some slightly flexible material that people used from my youth and it didn’t seem necessary to buy an expensive, branded version. There must be dozens of alternatives I assumed. They’re so simple. Well, actually not.
20
Jun
2010
Recovering from the ‘other kind’ of birth
It does not take this many openings - I swear.
I am a small-time c-section veteran, having got two babies up and out ‘through the sun roof’. Not on my own you understand – there were a few doctors and nurses, but basically I am tough and brave. As an obsessive planner, the second time round when I knew I was having another one, I did some serious research. I also bought a lot of unnecessary gear and freaked out a lot. Even if you’re planning the most natural of natural births, stuff happens sometimes and it always pays to freak out in advance. Oh wait – is that right? Anyway, based on absolutely no medical experience whatsoever (although I have watched a LOT of Gray’s Anatomy which is pretty much the same thing), here are my personal top tips for recovering from a c-section:
6
Jun
2010
Sophie – baby’s first status symbol? And our very first giveaway.
This is her. Skinny, Parisian and chic.
I don’t know if it has hit other parts of the world yet, but here in Europe if you don’t own Sophie, you may as well stay home – or stay hidden underneath the sun protector in your buggy or other baby anti-humiliation techniques. There is no way you could face life in the sandpit without knowing that you had Sophie waiting for you at home. Yes my friends – it’s not about highchairs or cots or even your designer buggy – if you don’t own Sophie La Giraffe, you are nobody.
Furthermore, if you don’t buy your baby one immediately, you are probably sentencing your child to a lifetime of lunches alone and dodgy denim choices (I have no memories like this to relate to, only ever having been seen wearing cool, up to the minute, always in fashion jeans. Cough denim hotpants cough).
But why? Why this French phenomenon? There are fifty five million different squeezy toys for babies (I counted), what makes Soph different? I’ll hazard a few (dodgy) guesses….
- She is French. Probably Parisian. And female. All Parisian women are skinny, chic, classic and colour coordinated. So is Sophie.
17
May
2010
Gina Ford – the case FOR.
Do not set one of those up in your back garden to burn books. This would be weird.
Oh my god, my pulse is racing, my heart is beating faster and I can hear Jacqui yelling from Madrid. It’s that time. Time for the post I have been thinking about since we started the blog. The Dame Gina Ford post.
If you’ve had a child in the past ten odd years in the UK or Australia, you’d have to be a bit lacking in eyes and/or ears to have missed one of her books on the parenting bookshelves, seen referenece to her methods on the internet or heard mention of her routines from other parents. The most popular book is The Very Contented Baby, but there are various follow-ups including The Contented Baby with Toddler.
At the outset, I need to divulge something that might already be obvious – I love Gina. There, I’ve said it. It’s out there. Let the stabbings commence and the bags full of poo start arriving on our doorstep, but it is true – her methods have worked like an incredible charm for our family and Gina (or The Big G (TBG) as we prefer to call her) rules the child routine roost around at our pad.
11
May
2010
These are a few of my favourite things….PICTURE BOOKS
My favourite book. Get your hands on it.
Or so the song goes. These are actually a few of my favourite children’s picture books for the under 5s. I know, I know, there are literally thousands of wonderful books, and as clever and efficient as I am, I haven’t quite got through them all. Astounding I realise.
My requirements for being added to this illustrious list include gorgeous illustrations, fun or charming stories (a sense of humour doesn’t go astray) and something that I don’t want to set fire to the fortieth time I read it. And I have to admit a terrible bias towards Australian books here – I don’t know if it’s because some of them reflect my own childhood stories, or their cheekiness just appeals to me, but I have to put it out there.
So to keep you going while I make my way through every single children’s book in the world, here are some of my favourites:
- Wanted: The Perfect Pet – this is probably my favourite book ever. Mainly for the over 2s but good for a few years after that due to the detail, it is very funny, very sweet, very engaging and has lovely line-style drawings. It also provides good scope for me to show off the breadth of my story reading skills. Love it.
3
May
2010
By popular demand – THE BABY LIST. Essentials and almost essentials to buy.
This is like a picture of me at the dentist. I know - bad hair day.
Ages ago I wrote a post about baby things I had bought that I had wasted money on. I made a rash promise to post my spreadsheet of things that you SHOULD buy. Four months later I am coming good with my promise. I know. I’m reliable like that. You should hear my promises to my dentist – they are nothing short of inspiring and involve trips to hygienists, dental floss and 45 degree brushing angles.
Anyway, I digress. I know that interesting dentistry anecdotes is a post in itself but baby stuff I promised and baby stuff you shall have. There are many many things to buy when you are having a baby. And many many shops and online stores from which to buy these essentials. I say essentials. In actual fact, apart from a cot, a pram and some clothes, you’d be hard pressed to say anything was truly essential. But we are what we are. Well, actually, I am what I am. You may well be a far more worthy and green type person who buys the minimum, recycles stuff, freecycles it back into the community and is generally a better, kinder and more annoying person than me. If you are, can I suggest you stop reading? I think you will not enjoy my list of essentials.
28
Apr
2010
What to think about when buying your baby monitor
Babyology reported recently on the new concept-stage monitor in the works by Danish company Sikker. Monitors are going stellar with monitorisation of the baby´s body temperature and heart rate rather than just old sound and movement.
But what do you actually need out of a baby monitor?
12
Apr
2010
Parenting Skills – the top five. Which include shopping.
I have not taken children to a concert yet. But I imagine I would be quite good at it.
I am not good at games. I don’t like making crowns. Or playing trains. Or pretending to eat belly-button chocolate (don’t ask, it’s a family thing). I imagine I will be rubbish at watching children’s sporting matches, as I have a tendency to drift off when balls start flying around in front of me. I also dislike taking my children out to lunch, playing in the park and speaking baby talk to newborns. However, I do have some parenting skills of which I am proud. Some may say weirdly proud — I would just say proud.
1. I am an EXCELLENT story reader. I give it everything I have got — whether it’s pathos, humour, kindness or poignancy (not a commonly required emotion in board books, but you never know) — I can carry it off. I have been known to receive a small round of applause at the end of Dig Dig Digging and if you thought you couldn’t eke out a tear from a 2 year old at a rendition of The Very Hungry Caterpillar, then you were wrong.
21
Mar
2010
Things I have learnt about travelling with kids – part one, the airplane ride. AKA Dante’s vision of Hell.
See that flying thing in the background - that is your child. See those two people in the foreground? You. Possibly attacking an air hostess.
A good friend of mine once commented that you learn something more about travelling with kids every time you do it. I scoffed at the time as how much really can there be to learn? I’ve travelled with a kid long haul and two kids a few times. But now, yes Mill, I think you are right. The little buggers keep growing and their needs changing. As opposed to me, since for about fifteen years now I have been happy with a very short list of travel requirements: business class flights, 5 star resorts and child free swimming pools. And one day I’ll actually achieve it, I’m sure.
Anyway, I have learnt much in this last trip. Far too much – as I have two children and know everything there is to know about child rearing, I am gobsmacked, but it is true, there are things I wish I had known before taking the trip. You know how flying was really boring before you have kids? It’s not so much boring now as some sort of sub-Saharan African sand running marathon endurance event. On the plus side, having experienced it too many times now, flying without them means that even the most budget of airline economy seats feels like business class which is an unexpected bonus not mentioned in What to Expect When You’re Expecting. Cover the big stuff people.
17
Mar
2010
Homemade goodness, you can call me Martha
photo credit: mitch59
I tried commercial baby food for the first time yesterday. Well actually the first savoury one. I had tried Nestle’s all-natural fruit puree which is actually really quite fabulous, to be fair. Monkey loves it, even I love it. But I tried a vegetable and meat one for the first time because we’re about to take a long haul flight and I figured it might be easier than taking home made food. So I checked out Nestle’s vegetable and chicken. Not a few people had told me that commercial baby food in general was disgusting. But as the fruit puree from Nestle was so good I thought there would be a good chance their meat and vegetable selections would be edible. They’re not. Well, I haven’t ventured further than the chicken and veg. Nor will I. One was bad enough. People had warned me but until I tasted it myself, I just couldn’t believe it could be so bad. It kind of seemed like they’d soaked some cardboard in gelatine, and then pureed it. They may possibly have thrown in a carrot. There was a taste slightly resembling carrot. Perhaps it was wishful thinking. It was orange though, so, it’s a possibility.
26
Feb
2010
Pocoyo; Great TV For Even the Tiniest Tots
If you, like me, find it hard to think of things to do with a very young baby, you should take a look at the Pocoyo series. My baby is 7 months old and I’m pretty much constantly changing whatever basic object it is in his hand every 5 minutes because that’s how long it takes for him to get bored. He can’t crawl yet, build blocks, draw or doing anything particularly engaging and I had thought that it was far too early for television. But he actually seems to love Pocoyo.
The white background, bright colours and lively music of Pocoyo have just enough sound and movement to capture the interest of the youngest infants. It’s a welcome addition to the arsenal of entertainment tools with which I am constantly attempting to kill the boredom.
The best part is that I think it’s really cute and funny and enjoy watching it with him. The narrators are delightful in both Spanish and English. Stephen Fry does the English version. Parents generally seem to find the shows pretty entertaining – evident from comments on websites and forums, which is a quite an accomplishment when it’s a programme that’s made for the very youngest infants.
23
Feb
2010
Tales from the Poo Front
Stomach flu is impressive isn’t it? As if the achy pains and general sense of misery provided by your regular flu weren’t enough, adding nausea, vomiting and diarrhoea and then combining it with a constant state of hunger and thirst which can’t be satiated lest you want to spend another four hours retching into the toilet, is really a genius illness, in terms of maximising misery in a short period of time.
I’ve just had four days of caring for Monkey* with stomach flu, with me struck down with the same and shuffling between the bed, the toilet and caring for the little patient on day 4. I now listen to the dulcet tones of The Spaniard retching in to the toilet. Correct, child had only just recovered from bronchitis. Then he returned to daycare. Hence we have new illness after three days back.
However, on the upside, I feel like I have passed through a parent’s rite of passage. It is not with a small tinge of pride that I feel I can finally join in on the whole poo parents club, what with its infinite sharing of poo stories and sense of belonging and camaraderie. I’ve spent four days changing outfits and bedding with great frequency due not just to vomit but some spectacular poo incidents. I’ve earned some stripes. A few months ago dedicated reader and friend, Stephen, told me a poo story. It was a very good one — child had filled his daks and then used vehicular assistance — his bike — to spread poo to all corners of the house with utmost efficiency. I enjoyed the story but it left me feeling a bit…out. Like a draft dodger hearing the tales of war from the poo front. I had nothing of my own to come back with. It was awkward. Well, that has changed in the last 48 hours.
Yesterday we had no less than three baths and six changes of clothing. That’s if you don’t count mine. I had to completely change my own clothing at least three times. I would have showered if I had time but I was too busy with the wailing vomiter. So instead I swept hair up to a crusty ponytail. I pretty much couldn’t put him down, unless I wanted to hear some VERY loud crying (he has quite a voice on him, baritone, Kate says) which was awkward at times, especially when, feeling confident after two hours of isotonic drink without vomiting we tried some milk. Slowly, slowly catchie monkey he drank the milk. Calm and satisfaction followed. Then the flood was released. I tried to catch as much volume in my lap as I could to save the couch. It was relatively successful as I managed to shuffle crab like, sideways away from the crouch, with Monkey still in my arms, keeping the vomit in my lap and eventually dispersing it across the living room floor. The floor is not carpet so I think it was a good result.
28
Jan
2010
Child attacked by face eating bear
This is my son. Not, as it may appear to an alarmed parent in the middle of the night, being suffocated by a wild brown animal, but voluntarily, softly rubbing his face up against his FLATOUTbear.
Apparently FLATOUTbears are already pretty well known to many parents, but there may be a few of you still unfamiliar with these teddy bears, or, like me before, were aware but not especially enamored with them — at least not with any more affection than for your average cuddly bear. Now, however, I totally get why flat is good.
You can’t rub a normal bear on your face like that. Nor, most likely, would you want to — the snout and belly and all those other curves would make it not quite as pleasant. There’s nothing wrong with curvy bears, I’m sure they’re good for lots of things, but being plastered against baby’s head, well, that’s where FLATOUTbears really come into their own.
19
Jan
2010
Party on Parents, the Babyphone iphone application is your portable baby sensor
Hold on to your hats iphone fans, I may have found the most useful iphone application ever. Well, let’s not forget about Total Baby, which is still going strong for me, but let’s just say I’m at least as excited as I was when I discovered that trusty application. My latest discovery is the BabyPhone iphone app, which, in the briefest of explanations, let’s you monitor your baby with your iphone – calling or emailing another designated phone number (or email) when it senses your baby crying or moving. It works; I’ve already tested it on the Christmas, New Year party circuit. Quite simply, it’s genius.
Koolistov BabyPhone iphone application, Activiation Screen
No more popping in and out of the party/dining room every five seconds to see if your precious one is still sleeping peacefully in the room where you’ve left him or her, as opposed to the hysterical crying you’re constantly imagining could be going on unnoticed and unattended. No more pretending to listen to conversations and appear relaxed when you’re actually wound up like a rubber band trying to separate the sounds of voices from what could possibly be a cry from the distant room. No more ducking in and out of the party to plaster your ear against the door or opening the door only to find the baby was sleeping… until you opened the door.
1
Jan
2010
Sleep training – for mothers
OK, here’s my situation. My mummy has had me for almost seven months. The first few months were great — I cried, she picked me up and fed me, anytime, day or night. Then something happened. Over the last few weeks, she has been trying to STTN (sleep through the night). At first, I thought it was just a phase, but it is only getting worse. I’ve talked to other babies, and it seems like it’s pretty common after mummies have had us for around six months. Here’s the thing: these mummies don’t really NEED to sleep. It’s just a habit. Many of them have had over 30 years to sleep — they just don’t need it anymore. So I am implementing a plan. I call it the Crybaby Shuffle. It goes like this:
Night 1 – cry every three hours until you get fed. I know, it’s hard. It’s hard to see your mummy upset over your crying. Just keep reminding yourself, it’s for her own good.
Night 2 – cry every two hours until you get fed.
Night 3 – every hour.
20
Dec
2009
Things I have wasted money on
If you ask my husband — most of my wardrobe, half the bathroom cabinet, all of my top drawer, the spice cupboard, the bottom three shelves of the bookshelf and everything in my half of the CD rack — falls into this category. But for the purposes of this post I will keep it to Items I Have Bought for Children or Childbearing Purposes. Also known as Things Kate’s Friends Should Have Told Her.
