30
Aug
2010
Kate’s Genius Child-Rearing Inventions #2
I know people were awestruck at the brilliance of last week’s invention, but this week you are TOTALLY going to want to invest in my Genius Child-Rearing Inventions Company. Ltd. So here we go…
DRESSING RACK
Not much like this.
You know when you have a wriggly child? A horrible-painful-won’t-stay-still-for-thirty-seconds small person aged anywhere between 9 months and 4 years? Yes yes, so cute to look at and adorable lisp, but SO annoying to dress. So here is your answer – a wooden rack. Yes, I know what you’re all thinking – child abuse rah rah rah. Two words for you – what. ever. You are going to be SO jealous when you see my little wooden thing where you simply slot the child in the top and they are held immobile with limbs flapping out the sides, ready to slip on shoes, socks, hats and jumpers. For a Genius Inventor I know I am not massively good at explaining how things might work, but if you think about it more like a giant Connect 4 game rather than a torture rack you might get the idea. Except the children won’t have to be flat. Or painted orange and blue. Just normal children, only held in a wooden rack ready to be dressed.
You know you want one.
Yep. I want one.
I don’t have wriggling problems, I have “I’m not going to wear that Mum so get f#@*+d” kind of problem. This device would really come in handy when in a hurry to get out the door in something more sensible than a dirty singlet and tutu knicked from the washing basket on a freezing cold day.
I may even have time to finish a cup of tea. You are a genius Kate.
I have a child with a scar from getting dressed, this is surely the lesser of two evils?
Now you just need some sort of clothing locking device – or something like a jumpsuit with built-in shoes and an anti-tamper zip, so they can’t take their shoes/hat/jacket/etc off as soon as you turn your back to dress the other one.