Comments on: Giving up breastfeeding, filling void with guilt and a fruitless search for answers

By: Jacqui

Jacqui — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 09:49:21 +0000

I saw quite a few posts where Mum’s talked about getting irritated by baby demanding their breast etc and wondering if they should stop breastfeeding. I think the answer is Yes. If you’ve been breastfeeding for a year, two years and it starts to irritate you rather than be as enjoyable as it was, I kind of think that’s your body trying to tell you something. But I didn’t get that far so I am probably not in a position to really say. Still, so often, with hindsight, we think we should have listened to our “gut”.

By: margarita

margarita — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 23:30:25 +0000

I was also very interested to find out what was the optimal weaning age… surely there had to be one? The whole pregnancy and birth physical experience is so amazingly well choreographed by your and the baby’s bodies, I felt that the breastfeeding process must have it’s own natural cycle too, but I couldn’t find any info on it. I went on the fact that cow’s milk can be given at 1 year and hearing from other mum’s I knew that their babies self-weaned around 1 year of age to think that that was a pretty optimal time. As it turned out I found that 1year was too soon for my son, as at 12 months he got severe gastroenteritis and the only thing he could keep down was breastmilk, and I felt thankful that I could give him that and didn’t have to feed him electroylite or whatever it’s called or Aquarius etc! That put the kibosh on my planned weaning at that time, because he was vomiting on and off for another 3 months… probably spanish public swimming pools in summer ;-P . After that I just started dropping a feed at a time, and I’ve got to say it felt quite natural, and that he was ready for it. Finally at 16 months we dropped the very last feed, and doing it this way I had no breast engorgement, and no emotional shocks, or any shocks in the way he responded. We prob could have gone on a bit longer, but like you I was under A LOT of pressure from the spanish in-laws, say no more!! (Of course I am ignoring all the mum’s issues like needing to return to work etc here). Unfortunately he is now “addicted” to the bottle, sigh, and so commences the next battle…..

By: Virginia

Virginia — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 21:27:40 +0000

I felt guilty for 3 days and then went out and got smashed. I felt much better after that!

By: Jacqui

Jacqui — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 08:23:55 +0000

Yeah well, it’s true, but I have just discovered when you STOP breastfeeding and stop burning huge amounts of calories per day, it can all turn back around pretty quickly. 2kg in 10 days. It’s obscene. Plus, obviously there is the whole deflation of breasts thing. That breastfeeding until child’s graduation (or political career high) is looking like a good option.

By: Jacqui

Jacqui — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 08:19:11 +0000

Oh stop it! You guys are all so nice! TrudieJ, can’t believe you met The Barker.

By: TrudieJ

TrudieJ — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 10:58:40 +0000

Oh Jacster what a beautiful entry (just catching up on my holiday reading) l admire your ability to capture and share the mixed emotions you experienced when giving up breastfeeding. You are certainly not alone!
Being an avid Robin Barker fan (yes have met her in person and had to hold back as just wanted to go up and give her hug), l could not agree with you more, breast feeding is a such a personal and intimate time you spend with your baby, no less intimate than feeding a baby with a bottle, however l can totally relate to feeling a little sad at the completion of this phase. Once again like any child raising decision you make, you will always be dammed if you do and dammed if you don’t. But my only advice is that you know your child better than anyone and no matter how many books or websites you read YOUR decision will be the right one. Enjoy the night(s) off, you so deserve it!!!

By: Jacqui

Jacqui — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 20:48:31 +0000

We did! Well for the night. And I have to say it WAS great. We SLEPT IN! Until, like 8.30 but still. Weekend is the next milestone.

By: Jacqui

Jacqui — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 20:47:15 +0000

One feed a day sounds great. Totally do-able. Will he take a bottle for babysitting nights? Still, you had at least another six months than me of several feeds a day. You deserve a medal. Or at least some very expensive jewellery.

By: Alex

Alex — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 11:22:08 +0000

Unfortunately the guilt nevers leaves you and if it ever does it will be cos you’ve found something else to feel guilty about like going back to work, taking the bottle away, leaving them at playgroup. The list is endless. I still feel guilty about not breastfeeding my first for more than 6 months, the second for only four months and am starting to feel guilty in advance in the knowledge that breastfeeding the 3rd is likely to be a similar struggle. Whatever the research, books, doctors, health visitors or other so called experts say, breastfeeding is not easy for everyone and there is far too much pressure on new mums to make a success of it. You just have to try and do what feels right for you – so much more important for the mum and baby just to relax and try and enjoy the first few months rather than spending them stressed out and guilt ridden. There are far worse things than a bottle of formula! Now if only I could take my own advice……

By: Kate

Kate — Sun, 24 Jan 2010 23:19:25 +0000

It’s true CVR, it’s like magic. You can eat whatever you want whenever you want and it just DROPS off. Mostly off your thighs, upper arms and lower abs, and leftover becomes evenly distributed between your breasts. Also, in other news, your wrinkles disappear.