Things I have wasted money on

If you ask my husband — most of my wardrobe, half the bathroom cabinet, all of my top drawer, the spice cupboard, the bottom three shelves of the bookshelf and everything in my half of the CD rack — falls into this category. But for the purposes of this post I will keep it to Items I Have Bought for Children or Childbearing Purposes. Also known as Things Kate’s Friends Should Have Told Her.

1. Children’s towels with hoods. Why oh why? I quite like nice towels – expensive, soft good thread count towels. Children’s towels are inevitably of average quality and before your first child is one, they will look threadbare and be scratchy. They will also not match the rest of your towel sets, unless you have a pale pink/blue penchant. They also have a hood. And god forbid – ears on the hood. Possibly your child looks cute in a hood, but mine resembles a nude KKK member which is not something I want running around my hallway of an evening. I wish I had bought nice good quality towels that matched all our other towels.
2. A vastly expensive baby rocking chair thing that vibrated, sang, had a light show (you think I am joking, I AM NOT JOKING, IT HAD A LIGHT SHOW), a canopy and swung the child by itself. It sounds wonderful doesn’t it? Add a pair of boobs and it could have replaced me – or so I  thought. The description failed to mention that it was hideously uncomfortable. That the canopy would shield the child from mother’s view and indeed, most natural light. That the various light show options would either be ineffectual or a freakish ’80s strobe nightclub light display. That the swinging options were either a gentle movement not noticeable with human eye, or a swinging motion so violent that it threatened to throw my child across the kitchen. I admit that I was up against some disagreement with the purchase of this one, but I forged ahead with pluck and determination and managed to waste a large amount of money – not only buying the first one, but then purchasing the Baby Bjorn bouncer chair which I should have got in the first place.
3. Water temperature gauge for the bath. I have a hand that has served me pretty well in judging the temperature of water for most of my life – probably would have done the trick in the baby’s bath.
4. Expensive portacot with every available fitting. It was the lightest thing on the market – how good?  Until we had to take it down – six people, two days and a pair of scissors to cut through the padding at the side and a pair of pliers to dismantle the thing. Take them up and down in the shop a few times, that’s all I will say – if you have to start brandishing the scissors, you know you’re not on a winner. Plus, it’s unlikely the shop will be keen on the idea.
5. Nappy bag. Controversial I know. Plus has the potential to irritate everyone who has ever bought one, but I must say I am mystified by them. Why must we have a large, plastic interior-ed bag? Why must it have 25 different compartments and is there anyone anywhere who has ever packed everything away in them neatly? Going with the flow the first time, I managed to convince myself that the Storksak was ESSENTIAL to my  child rearing needs – Angelina Jolie had one after all. Couple of hundred dollars later I realised it was just a rather large handbag with a plastic inside. And nowhere near as nice as lots of my existing handbags. So I sold it (sorry duped eBay person) and bought a nice new bag, a nappy wrap thing (which would definitely go on my essential purchase list) and a bottle bag which has served me well ever since.
6. $10 on a baby bottle washing brush from the baby shop. Funnily enough, a normal $1 bottle brush from the supermarket does the same thing.
7. Cold/hot breast gel packs. Recommended as essential on the hospital packing list. Don’t stay warm for more than about 30 seconds, don’t get cold enough to do any good, and when did a bit of cold ice down the front solve any boob related issues anyway?

I know seven is a random number, but I don’t think I should start making stuff up – god knows I have enough stuff that fits into the wasted money category to start doing that. But if anyone has anything of their own to add, feel free. And yes, coming sometime soon is the far more useful list – things you SHOULD buy.

photo credit: 1Happysnapper(is trying to catch up )

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