25
Oct
2009
The development of my (gifted) child’s language
I have realised in recent months that I have a particularly foul mouth. So does the Captain for that matter. We 
frequently swear at each other, at parking ticket related issues (those two often linked), at inanimate objects and constantly hurl abuse out our car windows. OK, not the last one – but I will admit the thought makes me smile. So this child-learning-to-speak thing is not all it’s cracked up to be. At a recent meeting with a real estate agent the sounds of ‘fuck, fuck, fuck’ coming from the small child at my feet were reasonably easy to ignore for a short while, but as they got louder, and the emphasis on the last letter increased, I was forced to fob it off as reference to a non-existent truck in the distance. I fooled no-one. Later that day in the nightly battle of wills (Mother against Child-beast starring in Bottle or Beaker – WHO will be the victor? We fight in a metal cage hastily constructed by the Captain and featuring several viewing platforms for the neighbours and both of us dressed in body armour constructed of old cutlery. As the smaller, he is also allowed headgear made of one of those plastic food catcher bibs. Currently it is living room based but we’re moving outside for the summer months), he dropped his bottle and milk went everywhere. ‘Fuck it ‘ he exclaimed. Is it so wrong that I was proud of his correct use of context?
photo credit: sammydavisdog
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My golden boy came home from his first day of kindergarten. We were eager to hear what our little angel had learned on his first day. We were expecting a bit of ‘open shut them’ or ‘dingle dangle scarecrow’, but were rather agog when we heard the words ‘fucking arsehole’ come out of his mouth. Now that’s a lovely one to be heard shouted across the aisles of the supermarket!
Are you sure he learnt that at kindergarten??
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hahahahahahaha wow this one made me laugh soooo much it hurt my 30week pregnant belly!