Hospital visit and house bound caring. The job fits in where?
This week we returned to the hospital where N was born just seven months ago, this time to deal with a bronchial infection. He had to be put on an oxygen machine and given Ventalin intermittently. Don’t worry. Everything’s fine. In fact the worst part (for me – me, me, me, me, me) was the having to stay in hospital to help care for him. I discovered a whole new level of boredom, with no internet (I know, I know, yes, I’m ok, still kind of recovering, there’s a twitch in my eye but I think it will go away within a few days) and really bad Spanish daytime TV.
I was also sleep deprived. The Ventalin turned N into a CRAZY CHILD and he barely slept. For the first 48 hours the Ventalin was given every 4 hours (each time followed by at least 2 hours of extreme wakefulness), after that (and still now, as I write) we only have to give it to him every 6 hours. This still means a 12am and 6am session with very little sleep in between. It’s like having a newborn again which is particular unfair as he had JUST started sleeping through – we had three blissful nights of it before he fell ill.
Make your own personalised word cloud canvas
I stumbled across website wordle.net a few months ago. Wordle lets you create your own word cloud image. I have been pondering ever since what a great gift it would be to use it to create a unique canvas for your baby’s room, or as a gift for, well, anyone. Or maybe you just want one for your own living room.
You can create your own word cloud image on wordle by entering a list of words and then changing the font, colours and the way the words are arranged. The image is yours to use as you wish, so you can save the file you’ve created and have it printed on canvas. (Google “print on canvas” and you’ll find any number of sites that will print your image on canvas and send it to you. Assuming you don’t live in Tristan da Cunha*).
Why I am still very trendy and am not getting old. This year.
This is not actually me. In case you were wondering.
My son’s favourite game at the moment is to tell us all how old we are. He is two, the baby is three months (give or take a few months, it’s hard to keep up with her to be fair), Mummy is OLD and Daddy is ANCIENT.
I obviously derive tremendous amusement at the ‘ancient’ (and it’s not far from the truth for the poor old Captain) – but am not overly enamoured with the ‘old’ reference. Because I am quite youthful. In my head. And in photos. That have been photoshopped.
I do not feel that having children is keeping me young. In fact, I think they are causing me more wrinkles than any all night bender in my 20s. (And frankly – some mornings I think I got more joy out of the benders than the kids. Don’t tell people that. It’s a sure fire way to get chucked out of the Mother’s Club to admit something like that. Well, you try having a shower with three people in there with you.) No, the children are definitely making me older. But not OLD.
Women in piggy tails – why it can be so right.
Last week I watched a grown woman in a blond piggy tail wig and pinafore dancing around and running away from a grown man in a bearskin. No, much to my disappointment I was not at a new avant garde club night. What I do after hours is on my other blog, www.fetishtastic.com.au (shame on you for clicking).
No, I was at an under 4s performance of Goldilocks. I did spend the entire 45 minutes wondering what led these two people to be performing in this show — I am presuming they were wannabe Eastenders stars or perhaps more serious Shakespearean types. Or maybe I am doing them a gross disservice, maybe there is a whole children’s acting career path – starts with a being a giant sandwich in a mall, next stop the dizzying heights of Disneyland? I am NOT dissing the acting which was nothing short of superb. Let’s face it, anyone who can keep a group of about thirty under 4s mostly spellbound for the better part of 45 minutes is a shoo-in to win the X-Factor.
Child attacked by face eating bear
This is my son. Not, as it may appear to an alarmed parent in the middle of the night, being suffocated by a wild brown animal, but voluntarily, softly rubbing his face up against his FLATOUTbear.
Apparently FLATOUTbears are already pretty well known to many parents, but there may be a few of you still unfamiliar with these teddy bears, or, like me before, were aware but not especially enamored with them — at least not with any more affection than for your average cuddly bear. Now, however, I totally get why flat is good.
You can’t rub a normal bear on your face like that. Nor, most likely, would you want to — the snout and belly and all those other curves would make it not quite as pleasant. There’s nothing wrong with curvy bears, I’m sure they’re good for lots of things, but being plastered against baby’s head, well, that’s where FLATOUTbears really come into their own.
The case of the disappearing career.
I cannot find a picture of a hen with its mouth open. Please use your imagination to imagine a hen. With mouth open. But no teeth.
A good friend asked me today what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. She was talking about my career, rather than whether I was planning on keeping the children. At least, I think she was — my daughter was being particularly irritating today so it would have been a valid question.
So the career. Ah yes. It was a good one. I loved the intellectual stimulation, the office banter, clever people around me (except the dim ones of course) and I loved so many of the teams that I worked with. Until I realised I didn’t really enjoy what I did. And that I was working myself to the bone with ridiculous hours and ungrateful sods demanding clients. And I was basically miserable in my industry. All of which wasn’t really conducive to being a happy mother and wife, let alone a happy worker. So now I find myself in the maternity leave tunnel with no light at the end.
Flying with the devil. Or – how to fly on a plane with your children and not arrive with vomit on your top.
OK, as opposed to the recent post for selfish Alex, here is a selfless one dedicated entirely to myself. I am not long away from embarking upon a 24 hour plane ride with two children. Two. On a plane. One child finds it hard to focus on one thing for more than about three minutes and if doesn’t get his own way has a charming habit of throwing himself upon the nearest flat surface and keening as if at a grave. The other enjoys random Tourette’s like yelps – when she is not screaming until purple in the face about being tired. Or hungry. Or itchy. Or has smelt something funny. Oh, I can already see the faces of the people in the departure lounge, just crossing their fingers and PRAYING they are sitting beside our happy little family.
Anyway – I am planning this trip like a military invasion. Only with less death. I am not focusing on what happens when we get there – just the 24 hours on the way. Don’t even talk to me about the way back when I will be doing it ON MY OWN. Seriously, don’t talk to me, especially if you are my husband. I need every trick in the book, so have been madly researching to come up with The Plan. Here’s what I have thus far:
Giving up breastfeeding, filling void with guilt and a fruitless search for answers
I gave up breastfeeding this week and, unexpectantly, I have been feeling kind of awful and weird about it. It seemed so counter-intuitive and wrong. Also, I’m not sure whether this is medically correct but I’m pretty sure there were some hormone changes as a result of the end to milk production, and hormone changes generally don’t go well. According to the fabulous Robin Barker (if you haven’t noticed, I’m a fan), feelings of sadness and depression when giving up breastfeeding are normal. She says go ahead and have a good cry. Well thanks Robin. I DID. More than once. Yay for me. And you. High Five.
Breastfeeding, natural and earthy. Does it look the same when the child can walk?
Where was I? Oh yes, GUILT. In my defence, stopping as I have at six and a half months, in Spain I seem to be very much in the minority having breastfed beyond three months. The nurse at my paediatricians office actually scoffed at me (one might even have called it a snort) when I inquired as to the benefits of continuing beyond six months, impatiently advising that the infant would receive all its dietary needs with formula and food once solids were introduced. My paediatrician diplomatically neither recommended nor advised against stopping at six months, instead asking whether I’d like to give up breastfeeding at six months, and when I gave a doubtful yes, then let me know that was absolutely fine and she would do the same. I took this as a recommendation but now that I look back I’m not so sure it was.
Party on Parents, the Babyphone iphone application is your portable baby sensor
Hold on to your hats iphone fans, I may have found the most useful iphone application ever. Well, let’s not forget about Total Baby, which is still going strong for me, but let’s just say I’m at least as excited as I was when I discovered that trusty application. My latest discovery is the BabyPhone iphone app, which, in the briefest of explanations, let’s you monitor your baby with your iphone – calling or emailing another designated phone number (or email) when it senses your baby crying or moving. It works; I’ve already tested it on the Christmas, New Year party circuit. Quite simply, it’s genius.
Koolistov BabyPhone iphone application, Activiation Screen
No more popping in and out of the party/dining room every five seconds to see if your precious one is still sleeping peacefully in the room where you’ve left him or her, as opposed to the hysterical crying you’re constantly imagining could be going on unnoticed and unattended. No more pretending to listen to conversations and appear relaxed when you’re actually wound up like a rubber band trying to separate the sounds of voices from what could possibly be a cry from the distant room. No more ducking in and out of the party to plaster your ear against the door or opening the door only to find the baby was sleeping… until you opened the door.
The first-time parent newborn experience (with Breastfeeding in starring role)
Well, well, didn’t Kate’s newborn experience sound nice what with all the sleeping through, high fiving and apparently oodles of downtime it’s given her. I’m pretty sure there were butterflies fluttering over the flowers on her windowsill and birds chirping from the water spout as she wrote that post from her writing desk overlooking a Provence garden. Good grief woman. Have you no mercy for the less fortunate?
Lots of down time? Really? Don’t worry readers who were wondering what happened to their daytime TV viewing opportunities. And heads up those who think they’re in for a cruisey time. Because the force may be strong with Yoda (aka Kate) but it’s not easy to use the force from the get go – that is, from the moment your first little bundle of joy enters this world.
Let me talk you through a typical day with a newborn, one made up of a seemingly never ending cycle of feeding, crying and not all that much sleeping.
Newborn sleeping: if you move your finger the baby WILL wake up
photo credit: Jon Ovington
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Baby Carriers – are you a hippy or a trendy?
I know very little about baby carriers and slings. But I am nothing if not helpful, and someone asked me the other day about which one was the best, so Alex – this one’s for you. Oh, and anyone else pondering the great unknown of the carrying/wearing world. Just writing to Alex would be weird. Although she is already probably slightly uncomfortable at having a whole post dedicated to her. Quite selfish the rest of you are thinking? I know – Alex is like that. Anyway, poor Alex, don’t be mean to her if you meet her, she can’t help being like that.
So slings, carriers and pack thingies – they are your big three segments. Slings are for babywearing hippies, carriers for trendy inner-city types and packs for healthy ruddy-faced outdoorsy types. Who carry hiking sticks. Got that? I love a good generalisation. Now this is not supposed to be the pinnacle of research, just a point in the right direction for beginners, to start you off even better than my ramblings, you might want to read this Which column.
Things I forgot about having a newborn – part two
This is me.
For those of you who didn’t read my earlier brilliant analysis – here is a link. I almost forgot to write a second part. Yes, I do see the irony in that. (Is that actually irony? In amongst the whole Alanis Morisette irony debacle I think I actually forgot the real meaning). Anyhoo, I’m four months in now and still my brain is remembering things that I had forgotten. Call it baby brain, call it Mother Nature’s insidious way of getting you to have another one, call it my memory was never that good to start with. Whatever, here are some more…
1. If you are a freakish nerd trying to get your beloved child into a routine, they are extremely difficult to keep awake for soooooo long. And then suddenly one day you realise you haven’t had to walk them outside all day and they’ve been playing on their mat happily for half an hour without passing out arms up and legs akimbo. It’s about this stage you can start to really get into day time telly. Just don’t get sprung by your husband watching it with a bag of crisps on the couch and the baby on their playmat in the corner. What? No, didn’t happen to me. I hate TV. And crisps. Mmmmmmcrisps.
“Three Kings” parade Madrid
Spain celebrated the arrival of the Three Kings yesterday, on January 6. Well actually they celebrate their very imminent arrival the night before, on January 5, in spectacular parades and street festivals across the country.
Next year, if you’re trying to think of somewhere to spend the colder months, think about making a visit to Madrid over the Christmas and New Year season. You’ll see Madrid at its best (winter days are characterised by bright, crisp blue skies) and the kids can be won over by the fantastic Christmas shows and displays and the distribution from floats of literally tones of sweets in the city’s major Three Kings parade. Write it down because you probably won’t read about it. Madrid is appalling at promoting its traditional events. The city’s own special Christmas guide this year makes a one line mention of the Three King’s Parade — hardly an indication of the scale or importance of the event which thousands of spectators attend and for which the entire centre of the city is blocked off.
Sleep training – for mothers
OK, here’s my situation. My mummy has had me for almost seven months. The first few months were great — I cried, she picked me up and fed me, anytime, day or night. Then something happened. Over the last few weeks, she has been trying to STTN (sleep through the night). At first, I thought it was just a phase, but it is only getting worse. I’ve talked to other babies, and it seems like it’s pretty common after mummies have had us for around six months. Here’s the thing: these mummies don’t really NEED to sleep. It’s just a habit. Many of them have had over 30 years to sleep — they just don’t need it anymore. So I am implementing a plan. I call it the Crybaby Shuffle. It goes like this:
Night 1 – cry every three hours until you get fed. I know, it’s hard. It’s hard to see your mummy upset over your crying. Just keep reminding yourself, it’s for her own good.
Night 2 – cry every two hours until you get fed.
Night 3 – every hour.
Nativity Scene and Pine Trees
Christmas Tree
We may have laboured the Christmas theme a bit but I wanted to:
a. Have the last word on it and be able to sign off before holidays saying “Merry Christmas”.
b. Show you my nativity scene and Christmas tree (the true artistic genius of which I think may not been captured in these photos) and
c. Write a post with bullet points/an itemised list so that I could demonstrate that while I may never surpass Kate in the lists department, I too can throw an alphabetised list together when necessary.
So, how good is my tree? One might say it represents my understated style. Certainly I do. To anyone that will listen.
And my nativity scene — sure, I am not sure how many stocky, short dairy cows there were in Bethlehem in those days. I’ll admit they look a bit incongruous next to the desert palm tree.
Nativity Scene
Right. I’m off to glaze a ham, which is carrying more than the usual pressure as I am representing the British and Commonwealth’s traditional Christmas dinner to the Spanish family.
The dad’s role in pregnancy.
a pathetic attempt to appeal to the males
I wrote a whole post about Christmas traditions. Then the Captain told me he was over Christmas. And my traditions. Hmm, thought maybe the rest of the world was too (yes, I am aware that not EVERYONE in the world is reading our blog – more fool them) and I am all about pleasing the readers. One of his friends had some helpful suggestions about how I could improve the male readership of this blog. The key one was introducing sports coverage – specifically, blow by blow accounts of any event where England is playing Australia. Probably not going to happen today, but you’ll know when I start cutting and pasting the BBC sports coverage that things have got dire.
In the meantime – how about some thoughts on the male role in pregnancy? There are any number of books on the topic and hundreds of articles written every year. Most of them focus on loving support. It’s true, loving supportiveness is good, but there are some more specific steps you can take to ensure you remain the father of your unborn child. So here are Kate’s top tips on how you can be the best pregnancy person ever:
Things I have wasted money on
If you ask my husband — most of my wardrobe, half the bathroom cabinet, all of my top drawer, the spice cupboard, the bottom three shelves of the bookshelf and everything in my half of the CD rack — falls into this category. But for the purposes of this post I will keep it to Items I Have Bought for Children or Childbearing Purposes. Also known as Things Kate’s Friends Should Have Told Her.
The Very Talented Anneka Tran
"Single Tree" 3D Illustration by Anneka Tran. Visit her blog at http://annekatran.blogspot.com/
Many of you I am sure have been admiring the illustrations on our site. We’ve put them there to distract you from the writing. All of them were done by illustrator Anneka Tran, a young, energetic and very talented lady from Staffordshire, England. Anneka has her own blog and website which shows her amazing selection of illustrations and work.
The blog also gives an indication of her impressive work ethic, with something new and gorgeous posted almost every week. When we brief Anneka for an illustration it takes longer for us to pick up her response email and approve the drafts than it does for Anneka to whip the illustration itself. Sometimes it’s actually scary.
The artist’s latest, self-assigned large scale project was an illustration (well more like a series of illustrations) of The Table Of Elements. How’s THAT for self-motivation? I don’t think I have ever given myself an assignment. If I hadn’t partnered with Kate on this blog and given myself some outside pressure I wouldn’t get anything done. You can check out Anneka’s Table Of Elements here. Art meets geek, and the result is amazing. Be sure to scroll down on the article to see the larger images.
Mummy and Child Dates – does it ever go well?
CC photo credit: Flickr ID nateOne
For those of you who can remember, and believe me there are a LOT of you looking through glasses made rosy by the joys of the latter months (which, while understandable is not always helpful) the first two months of a new born baby are a pretty tough time.
When my baby was in month two, one of my first social ventures out with baby in tow, sans father, was meeting up with a friend and her toddler over coffee. It seemed like the natural approach: ‘ You have a baby, I have a baby, let’s do coffee.’ Well, actually, it wasn’t the social escape either of us had been hoping for.
For the slack Christmas shoppers – last minute ideas
I was going to do a long post on Christmas present ideas. Then I started getting them come in thick and fast from my favourite blogs and I decided that:
a) I had left it too late
b) I couldn’t possibly outdo the lists I have already been sent and
c) Why on earth would I rewrite a whole post that I was clearly going to shamelessly copy from other sources anyway (ah, Internet, bless your cotton socks)?
So I thought I would highlight a few fun ideas/gifts and then give you the links to my favourite present lists for you to peruse at your leisure (or not – Christmas is only 12 days away. If you haven’t finished yet you’re absolutely buggered).
Nice traditions for book-loving parents
- See Jacqui’s post on passing down books. What a gorgeous idea.
- Stolen from Babyology – think about starting a tradition where you give each child a special book – like a special hardcover or vintage book. Do books come in vintage? We’ve bought the Mouse a hardcover set of Beatrix Potter. I hope she doesn’t read this and find out. She is 14 weeks and VERY advanced.
