Child Entertainment; the Untapped Job Market
I’m pretty sure that everyone has the same reaction when they watch their child’s favourite children’s singing group performing. It goes along the lines of, “I could do that.”
The Wiggles and Hi-5 earned $45 million and $18 million respectively in 2008, according to BRW.
Earning the same money as rockstars and moviestars by dancing around, making idiotic facial expressions and producing music that appears to require no specific skill set, while not having to cope with the paparazzi selling pictures of you to magazines for feature articles on “Stars without Makeup” or those articles that zoom in on cellulite and then enlarge the offending area and accompany it with large letters saying something like “Urggghhh!” seems, like, well, quite an appealing career choice.
Seriously, while I’ve read that The Wiggles apply principles of children’s education and psychology to maximise their appeal to children and possibly have some song writing talent that’s particularly appealing to the kids, there are an awful lot of child entertainers who seem to be equipped with little more than a passable singing voice, a pair of denim overalls and no shame. Spain’s most popular children’s entertainers are a group called ‘Cantajuegos’.
Kate’s Genius Child-Rearing Inventions #1
I have often been described as a genius. By often, I mean I think I heard a teacher say it once. Possibly she said pest. No, definitely genius. Anyway, I present to you the first in my eagerly anticipated series – Kate’s Genius Child-Rearing Inventions. These are things that I have never seen in a shop – possibly as they may cause injury – but DEFINITELY should be in a shop. People would buy these things.
Pop-up remote controlled electric fence.

A little less violent
You know when you’re in a park. Or a coffee shop or a circus. And you have a small child running in the wrong direction. Or crawling away as fast as their little legs can move? And you really want to finish the end of JUST ONE sentence before interrupting your conversation to drag them back to the designated zone? This is where you whip out your remote control, press the buzzer and a child proof forcefield is erected. Nothing too violent – it wouldn’t give them an electric shock (that’s part of my invention #21) – would just keep them in a defined area, unable to disappear behind a faraway hedge, smear ice-cream on any one’s leather sofa or empty salt out of every salt shaker behind the waiter’s station.
Beach Babe
Like the rest of Spain, we’re on holiday at the beach. It’s our first beach holiday with a child. He’s 13 months, still can’t walk, weighs about 11kg and still likes to crawl all over his parents at every opportunity. The beach does not enhance this experience.
Here’s some stuff you might not know if you haven’t tried to go with a baby or small toddler yet.
- Your days of lying back on a sand controlled towel are over (an arsenal of toys will not make any difference). Babies and toddlers will not sit quietly in the shade, on a towel, playing with toys. What they will in fact do is crawl directly off designated sand free zone and bring back a substantial amount of the stuff with them.
- You’re not cool anymore. Face it, there is NO WAY on this earth to go to the beach packed like a camel – carrying change bag, toys, bucket and spade, water, baby food, umbrella, towels, and more (am sure Kate has the definitive spreadsheet somewhere of all the things one should take to the beach) AND carry an 11kg baby all the while walking on hot sand AND look cool. You are the stereotypical parent of every hip single’s nightmare. Don’t attempt to fool anyone. If you’re not loaded up like a cartless gypsy, every other parent will be smugly aware that you are either at the beach for five minutes or about to face down a disaster.
Travelling with kids – part two, into the inferno.
So I think it would be fair to say that we have covered airplane travel relatively comprehensively (if by comprehensive you mean in a kind of crappy yet witty and insightful way here , here and here) but there is always the other bit – when you actually get there. Oh yes, the holiday itself. I’ve just been on one and although I know most things in the world, as I’ve mentioned before, a far cleverer friend than me says that every time you travel you learn a new thing about travelling with your children. I think she might be right. Plus, she’s a lot taller than me, and currently about 11 months pregnant, so I usually agree with most things she says, lest she clout me over the ear. Anyway – some tips….
- Most importantly – do it. Travel. Get out there. Most places can be done with kids. Unless it’s a twenty two star adults only resort. Don’t take kids there – unless you plan to hide them in your room the whole time. But that might be a bit boring. Even if they do like DVDs.
The Kiss that has Captured a Nation
Spain won a little thing called The Soccer World Cup. You may have heard about it. It’s been all parties, happiness, brotherly love, and a rare feeling of national unity. How much partying? This might give you an idea.
In the midst of all this Sporting revelry came a moment of romance that made every Spaniard gasp and grab their chest in vicarious swooning: the emotional and spontaneous kiss between the Spanish Captain, long time national hero and one of the heroes of the winning game; Iker Casillas, and the woman this year voted as the most beautiful presenter in the world; Sara Carbonero.
Iker is himself quite hot. The kind that faces thousands of screaming school girls wherever he goes – this insurance ad does a very amusing parody of his misfortunes on that front (FYI: ‘Me siento seguro’ means ‘I feel secure’).
And Sara is well, breathtaking.
Professional life has taken on a new complication for these two beautiful people since they started going out only five months ago, just as the build up to the Cup was hitting it’s stride. Since news broke of their relationship, every time Sara interviewed Iker, we watched in awkward fascination as they both maintained stoic professionalism in numerous question and answer sessions.
Small Children and the World Cup. Not Ideal.

photo credit: twicepixI am not a major Sports fan. It’s mostly just the big stuff that captures my attention, like the World Cup, the world’s largest sporting event. It’s a big deal. In case you hadn’t noticed.
I understand that watching sports has a family feel to it. We’re in summer here so it’s the perfect occasion to have a few people over to watch the game and celebrate or commiserate afterwards with a BBQ and a few beers. It somehow seems appropriate to bring the kids over. They want to be part of the excitement and learn how to scream at referees and become completely blind to any penalties committed by their own team while developing an unprecedented level of skill and expertise at identifying those of the opposing team. It’s a great opportunity to start developing these essential life skills.
There are times however, when children should not be brought along to watch the game. This generally applies when they are too young to either concentrate on the game or entertain themselves quietly. Very quietly.
Here are some things one shouldn’t do during a World Cup final match, just off the top of my head:
The post about what to give when you’re not giving flowers

For the love of god, NO.
There are only so many flowers a person needs. Honestly. And this goes for sick people, as well as new mothers. Firstly, who has fourteen vases in the right shape and colour for fourteen different bunches? Secondly, who has fourteen mantelpieces to put them on? And thirdly, umm, who needs that many flowers? But who has the time to think of clever and thoughtful yet awesome value presents for people these days? What with full on jobs or full on children or full on both, you need some help. And they don’t call me Helpful Harriet for nothing. Actually, no one calls me Helpful Harriet but I am hoping if I use it enough, it will catch on. So here are some suggestions. Some of them might also be useful for someone who is coping with an illness, a bereavement, a break-up or a general rough time. You are welcome.
The gift of time











Do you worry about your children much? I mean clearly, crossing the road, not jumping into the pool or licking other people’s dogs – the things we all worry about. But I am talking about the really big issues. Those that keep us awake at night.
I am sorry to say that I am coming to you live from the outdoor sofa of our villa in Ibiza. A good part of this afternoon was spent lounging on a beach bed ordering white sangria (who knew that such a joyful drink existed?) and dipping in and out of the ocean pretending that my bottom looked EXACTLY like the Brazilian teenager’s on the beach bed in front of me – it doesn’t, which is quite shattering. There have been some other significant downsides to the holiday thus far: 




